FUN FIRST!

Daily Encouragement for Better Living

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APRIL, 2010

I am incredibly gullible. At least, when it comes to my wife. She always suckers me on April Fools' Day, even though I know it's April Fools' Day, and I am expecting to be tricked. I think it's got something to do with the fact she's so cute and innocent looking that no matter what my brain might be trying to tell me, it's silenced by the rest of my being which simply can't resist her. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I just want you to understand what's going on if you see me later today going door-to-door raising money for "Hair Plugs for the Homeless."
My favorite part of Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ is early in the film. Jesus is being tempted by the devil in the garden at Gethsemane. The devil is questioning Him, telling Him it's too much for a man to do, pointless, etc. During the conversation a snake slithers out from the devil's robe. It slithers around Jesus for the duration of the devil's tempting. After all of the devil's work to instill doubt in Jesus about the value of what He is about to endure, the camera focuses on Jesus's resolute face. Then "Whack!" He stomps the head of the snake and turns to meet the mob that has come to arrest Him. Jesus has made His decision. The temptation has been rebuffed. I love the sound of the stomp. The sound of victory. I wish I had it on a recording so whenever I'm tempted to give up or think whatever measly little paltry "sacrifice" I think I'm making isn't worth it I could stop and say to the tempter: "Wait a minute. Let me play this for you. 'Whack!' Recognize that sound? That's the sound of God winning and you losing. Let's listen again. 'Whack!'"
It's been unseasonably warm the last few days. "Unseasonable" means atypical for the time of year. People can be "unseasonable" in this sense too. Sometimes their behavior or reaction is out of place for the circumstances they're in. Something's going on we can't see that's making them hotter than you'd reasonably expect. You might want to cut them some slack and see if they return to the "normal range." Don't let them make you unseasonably warm as well. Don't make an anomaly a trend. Stay cool and you'll help bring the other person's temperature down as well. Maybe. Ultimately, we can't control the weather or anybody else. All we can control is our own action.
Happy Easter! It's Passover, Easter, and the beginning of the Major League baseball season. God delivered Israel from slavery in Egypt. A reason to celebrate. God delivered us from the bondage of sin and death through the death and resurrection of Jesus. A reason to celebrate. Will God deliver us from yet another Yankee championship? That would clearly be a reason to celebrate, but we won't know till fall. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that defeat of the Yankees is on par with the defeat of Pharoah or Christ's victory over Satan. Those victories are all I need and I am ecstatic because of them. I'm just saying a Yankee defeat would be a nice bonus.
I had a professor who wanted to demonstrate a point. He asked a male student "If you stood in one corner of the room and Ms. Johnson (a very pretty woman in the class) stood in the opposite corner and you moved halfway to her, stopped, moved half the remaining distance, stopped, and kept repeating this process, would you ever get to her?" "No," the guy replied, "but I'd get close enough." Remember this lesson. Perfection is rare. That's why you have to look for "close enough." "Close enough" is the time to act. You'll never get to the perfect time to act.
Life is like baseball. When something doesn't go according to plan, you've got to make a new plan. In case you missed it, take a look at Mark Buehrle's solution to a plan gone awry when his pitch gets driven back up the middle and off his foot in the White Sox opener yesterday. Here's the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDIEp-xyOl0 I'm pretty sure he didn't practice this in spring training. He just knew based on the thousands of games he's played in his life that the conventional way to make this play was not going to succeed. Rather than do it the "right way" and fail he took a risk and succeeded. The risky play could have failed too, but it was the only way that had any chance of succeeding. When the conventional is doomed, the unconventional is your only hope.
"Most people are married to the status quo. They want what was, not what can be." (John C. Maxwell) I'm not sure that's right. It seems more likely we want things to be "better" but we don't know what we mean by "better" and we aren't willing to act to change things or to figure out how to change them. It's like riding the bus. The bus keeps following the same route over and over but we don't know where to get off so we stay on and wish we were in some interesting place and not stuck on the bus. If you're not liking the ride, you need to get off somewhere. Try something new. You might like it. You might not. It's only by trying that you'll find out.
Don't let what people say behind your back upset you. If you've heard about it, that means someone has told you, and you've got to wonder why the person telling you would do so. How does learning someone is speaking ill of you help you? Besides, when someone says something bad about you, they're really saying something about themselves. Some inadequacy they see in themselves leads them to demean you. That is 100% their problem. Why should their inadequacy upset you?
My wife is headed to Hawaii this morning. This gives me the opportunity to do all the things I can't do when she's around. Be lonesome. Learn where food comes from. Figure out who has to be where when and how they're going to get there. Hunt through the house for things. See where the towels go after they drop through the magic hole in the bathroom and how they make their way back (They don't have any legs. Maybe they slither.) Be lonesome. Yup, this is quite the opportunity. Isn't my wife sweet giving me this chance. I know it's quite a sacrifice for her.
I did another tuxedo modeling gig at a bridal show last night. The star of the bridal show was Jillian the Bachelorette. I must confess I had never heard of Jillian the Bachelorette. Was she a wrestler like Dick the Bruiser? She seemed kind of small for that. But, of course, whether I knew her or not was irrelevant because I am not the target market for a bridal show. The young women in the audience knew her and that was what mattered. Whenever we're trying to communicate with anyone, we need to look to their interests and experience first. When we do, we are more likely to get our message across. Finding out and paying attention to what matters to others, is key to developing positive relationships with them. I'm grateful to Jillian for providing me an inspiration. I think I'll start calling myself Mark the Bald Guy, or Mark the Fun Guy, or something like that. Got any suggestions?
Today is the celebration of Divine Mercy in the Catholic Church. Mercy is something we all like to receive but are reluctant to give. We demand "justice" from those we perceive as wronging us and brood over the injury even when they've sought to make amends. But, when the shoe is on the other foot, we can't understand why they're being so harsh and unforgiving. Adopt a merciful disposition. Incline yourself to refrain from harsh judgment and forgive easily. Mercy, like gratitude, is a foundation of joyful living.
I learned to play the guitar because I wanted to be a rock star and my dad wouldn't let me have a set of drums because they were too loud. (Guess he forgot about electric guitars!) I never became a rock star. I did become a music lover though. In pursuing my desire for fame, I discovered that what started out as just the means to my goal of stardom turned out to be a worthy end in itself. I now love music in most of its styles and am in awe of the power to create beautiful music we humans possess. I eventually decided my original goal was not really what I wanted but its pursuit brought me to the point where I found something that continues to enrich my life (and I don't even have to spend my life locked up in a tour bus). Be open to other opportunities that arise while pursuing your goals and don't discourage a wannabe rock star. Even if it's you!
Thomas Jefferson (his birthday's today) said: "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Our minds are amazing creations. Made for freedom and creativity. Unfortunately, we can let a lot of tyrants rule them and crush that freeedom and creativity. Fear, self-doubt, and self-absorbtion are a common trio of tyrants. Any one of them will oppress your mind and keep you from enjoying the life you were created to live. Let's join Jefferson in vowing to overthrow these tyrants. They have no legitimate authority over your life.
Are you afflicted by anomie? ["Yes, Mark, I am. I can't stand those Japanese cartoons. I can never figure out what's going on in them." "Uh, that's anime. I said anomie." "Oh, never mind."] Anomie is a state of personal unrest, alienation and uncertainty that comes from a lack of purpose or ideals. Not knowing why you're here or what you want to achieve can leave you feeling adrift. If you're feeling purposeless, think about the people you admire. What is it about them you admire? Maybe seeing something admirable in another will open your eyes to a calling for you.
Leonardo Da Vinci (his birthday is today) was one of the best examples of the greatness humans can attain. Da Vinci had a broad range of interests and pursued them with zeal. He was dedicated to learning new things and developing new ways to do things. I doubt he was ever bored. The world fascinated him and he loved to observe and ponder the things around him. Curiosity is the spark of invention. Don't stifle it. The greatest minds never lose their childlike curiosity.
Life is like baseball. It doesn't matter how hard you get hit as long as you hold onto the ball. The collision at the plate is a great baseball tradition. The catcher has the ball and blocks the plate to tag the runner out. The runner realizes he can't evade the catcher so he's out unless he can knock the ball from the catcher's hand. Instead of sliding to evade he plows hard into the catcher hoping to pop the ball loose. When the collision happens, the catcher may stand firm and not budge or he may go flying. It doesn't matter. He just has to hold onto the ball. That's his top priority. If he's focused on not getting knocked down, he may succeed at that but fail at his primary objective. When you are pursuing your dreams, you are going to get plowed into at the plate. People will try to dissuade you and they may not be very nice about it. Don't let your focus shift to them or what they may do to you. Concentrate on holding onto the ball. You might get hurt. You might get knocked off your spot. You might be sent tumbling head over heals. As long as you don't drop the ball, you win.
Life is like baseball. Sometimes you get rained out. You're ready to move ahead with something. You've made all the preparations, you've got everything in place and kaboom, something comes out of the blue and stops the process. Somebody gets sick. The package doesn't arrive. What can you do? Baseball players in a rainout go into the clubhouse and try to stay sharp. Take some swings in the batting cage. Stretch to stay loose. The rain's going to stop sometime and you need to be ready. It can be tough when you're up for something and it falls through. You just have to keep your edge and be ready when the delay is over.
Today is the 20th birthday of Cigar, the world's greatest living racehorse. Cigar won 16 consecutive graded stakes races. A record he shares with Citation. Cigar didn't get off to a good start. He ran through a fence when he was young and required surgery on his leg. He didn't run well in his early races. His owners tried running him on turf (grass) instead of the dirt track. That didn't work. A horse with potential that wouldn't perform. But, then Cigar got a new trainer and a taste of success. He got a great jockey and became unbeatable. The right people drew out Cigar's best and he amazed the racing world. Are the people in your life drawing out your best or running you in the wrong races? Cigar couldn't pick his people. You can. Hang with people who'll make you a winner. You can amaze the world as well.
"Have to's" and "want to's". Which play the biggest role in your life? The bigger the role the "have to's" play the more likely you are to feel like a slave rather than a free person and the less satisfied you're likely to be. We are created to be free but seem to work our way into enslavement. I'm not sure why. What matters is gaining your freedom. Take a look at your "have to's". Are they really things you're doing against your will? Most of them are probably things you've actually chosen to do and can choose to stop doing if you wish. Fear of the consequences may be keeping you from changing. Remember fear is just a warning of possible, not certain, danger. The actual consequences of change may be very good. Allow yourself to explore this possibility. [Of course, the best "to's" are the "get to's". But, that's a topic for another day.]
Yesterday I talked about "have to's" and "want to's" but the best "to" is the "get to". As in I get to write this email. A "get to" is something you are grateful you get to do. It gives you such joy that you feel privileged to be able to do it. The more of life you see as "get to's" the happier you'll be. Take a look at what you are doing today. What percentage of today's activities are "get to's"? Can you add some more? Can you take a different view and change some of the things you are going to do into "get to's"? A little attitude adjustment can make you see more things as "get to's". "Oh boy, I get to change a flat tire and it's minus 20 out!" Ok, that's a little extreme but you get the idea.
I saw a reference to the SEAL Fitness Challenge. I thought, "How hard can that be? Every seal I've ever seen has been lying around or taking a leisurely float in the water, or maybe diving for a fish. And, they're all kind of blubbery. How fit can a seal be?" Ok, I'm kidding. I knew they meant the Navy SEALs. The fitness challenge is the minimum requirement to qualify to get into the school to try to become a SEAL. I'm thinking of giving it a whirl. The fitness challenge. Not entering the SEALs. I'm over the maximum age for entry, 28, and I'm not interested in prolonged periods of sleep deprivation, or being shot at as part of my job description. I'm not sure I can attain the levels required. After all, they are designed to measure a high level of fitness for men in their twenties. But, aiming high is a proven way to reach your peak even if it's not as high as the peak you were aiming for and a challenge is always exhilarating.
What could you do to make your life more fun right now? If your first thought was "strangle my boss" or "play chicken with a freight train", you may be suffering from "Poor, Poor Pitiful Me Syndrome". PPPMS can strike anyone at anytime and can be either acute ("Why didn't she say 'Hi' to me") or chronic ("I hate Monday because I have to go to work. . . . I hate the weekend because I don't have anything to do.") PPPMS has a simple cure: Stop thinking you are the center of the universe and start thinking about somebody else (and I don't mean thinking about how much better they have it than you!!) Start by thinking what you could do to make the next person you see smile or laugh. This ought to make you smile in and of itself.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." So said Shakespeare (whose birthday is today). "But thy eternal summer shall not fade." I don't know who he had in mind when he penned these lines but he wasn't holding back vocalizing his appreciation of her beauty and grace. How often do we let beauty pass unremarked or denigrate it by looking for flaws to diminsh its value. In a way, we are like the lunatics that deface great works of art. They just can't stand the beauty of them. Looking for flaws in beautiful women, or gifted athletes, or accomplished business people is actually defacing humanity. Taking a sledgehammer to those that reflect in some way the perfection God intended for us at creation. Let's follow Shakespeare's lead instead and not hold back in honoring the beauty and excellence of those who grace our lives.
There are lots of ways of communicating. Some pleasant. Some not so pleasant. Some build long term relationships. Some crush them. The not so pleasant-- criticizing, complaining, threatening, nagging-- might get you something you want in the short run-- but ultimately, they'll get you something you don't want-- enemies. Over the long haul, positive communication-- encouraging, listening, accepting, respecting-- will get you what you really want-- allies. People who will be there for you no matter what because you've become so valuable to them they could never abandon you.
Life is like baseball. Sometimes a screwball is more effective than someone who’s straight down the middle. (At least I like to think I’m effective!!) Don’t discount someone just because they’re odd and don't reject an idea just because it's coming from a different angle.
You've heard "there's no time like the present." It's also true that there's no present like time. What a gift each moment of life is. It's like a slot machine steadily pumping out gold coins we get to spend however we want. We can spend it on enriching our relationships, we can spend it on expanding our minds, we can spend it on appreciating beauty. If you're not feeling fulfillment in your life, you can probably trace the problem to the spending choices you make with the time you are given. The good news is that the machine keeps cranking out the gold coins. Here comes one now! Grab it and spend it on deciding how to spend the rest of the coins you'll get today.
If you made $500,000 per year doing something you love, would you quit and do something you hate for $1,000,000? If you said "yes", why? If you said "no", why not? Your answer will tell you a lot about yourself and what you think money can or cannot do for you. Now for the hard question. If you hate what you are doing now, would you quit and try to do something you love even if you made less money? Why or why not? Chances are you could find a way to do more of what you love and less of what you hate without losing income but for purposes of this exercise assume you have to take a financial hit to do what you love. What did you learn about yourself from this exercise?
The New Yorker Magazine's March 29, 1976, cover featured a drawing called "A View of the World from 9th Avenue." Half of the magazine's cover was consumed by a large scale drawing of the two blocks in Manhattan looking west from 9th Avenue. Next appears the Hudson River, drawn as a wide barrier. Then, there is a narrow strip labeled "Jersey" followed by tiny random dots in the distance for Chicago, L.A., and a few other places. The cover was a spoof on the notion that anything "beyond the Hudson" was meaningless to a New Yorker. We can all get a good laugh at the New Yorkers for this (and we should), but what would a picture of the view of the world from your eyes look like? Would the proportions be any better or would it be consumed by an enormous picture of you with other people being just meaningless little random dots in the distance?