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DECEMBER, 2009

•  Time.  In high school geometry class it moved slower than a snail through superglue.  Now, it disappears faster than chocolate chip cookies within my reach.  Our perception of how quickly time passes may vary but the reality of its passage does not.  It arrives in a moment and moves to the next.  It is only in the current moment we get to live.  Worry and regret are stealers of the moment.  They are a decision to let the unchangeable past or the uncontrollable future ruin the present.  The better we learn to use the present moment for current action and not for worry or regret, the more effective our lives will be.
•  Angel, one of our cats, is helping me write this morning.  She's walking on my hands, rubbing her head against the corner of the laptop moving it around, standing in front of the screen, sitting on my forearms, etc.  Cat help is seldom much help.  It's good to remember cats when we're considering giving someone some "helpful" advice.  Are we sure our version of help is really going to be helpful or is it going to be more like walking on their hands while they're trying to type? 
•  We generally find what we are looking for.  The things we expect to see are the things we actually see.  If we expect to find problems, misery and rejection, we usually find them.  If we expect to find beauty and joy we tend to find them too.  Very few things (people, jobs, families, etc.)  are perfect.  Dwelling on the imperfections or approaching new people or situations with an eye toward what's going to be wrong with them takes the fun out of life pretty quickly.  If you look for the good and the beautiful, you'll see a lot more goodness and beauty.  Trust me, they are a lot more fun to look at.
•  One night at the gym, a young man was digging through one of the wastebaskets in search of something.  A few feet away stood a beautiful young woman, a stranger to the digger.  When he saw me, he tilted his head toward the woman and said "She dropped her keys in here."  As you might imagine, the contents of a wastebasket at a gym are, to say the least, disgusting.  When I got a little closer, he whispered with a smile "Don't think I'd ever do this for you!"  Ah, chivalry is not dead.  Or, at least, the power of beauty isn't dead.  I joined in the digging.  Who can resist a damsel in distress? 
•  A banner ad proclaimed "Meet Senior Singles."  It included a profile: Jenny, age 46.  What the . . . !! 46?  Senior?  Give me a break! Who is going to click on that?  If you are 46, are you interested in a guy who thinks he's a senior citizen?  Age is irrelevant but outlook is important.  No matter your age, don't be thinking you're old.  
•  "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church."  So says the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians.  For a Christian, this is a tall order because we believe Christ's love for the Church involved giving up everything, forgetting about himself, and handing himself over to be killed by the Romans.  Now, I'm sure we are all doing this admirably every day for our wives.  Those Ephesian husbands must have been a bunch of slackers.  But, on the off chance, that you may not quite be living up to this standard, you should probably do a quick reflection on the last 24 hours to see whether your actions toward your wife were Christ-like in all respects.  Love is a 24/7 proposition.  You can't put it off till after the game.  Not even today's Bear's game which they actually might have a chance to win. 
•  When it snowed for the first time this year, as I was driving, I thought "Wow! a lot of people must have moved here from Jamaica since last year because they obviously have never seen snow before."  But, then, since I have a reputation as a positive person to maintain, I thought "No, they're just out of practice."  To remain good at anything requires practice-- doing something with a conscious effort to excel.  Like driving in the snow . . . or . . . thinking positively . . . for example.
•  Jim Rohn, one of the leading personal development guys, died over the weekend.  As a tribute, here are few of his quotes, without any embellishment from me: "One person caring about another person represents life's greatest value."  "Self-preservation has a tendency to lead to poverty."  "Kids are curious.  Kids are watching ants while adults are stepping on them."
•  This is the year I embrace winter. Ok, I know, I've said this every year for as long as anyone can remember but this year is different.  Just like next year will be different than the previous 100 for Cub fans.  But, I digress.  This time I mean it.  I've taken a dramatic step.  For the last few days, I've been drinking my morning coffee from a cup that has a snowman on it rather than from my usual cup with the Greek beach scene on it.  I am now strongly associating one of life's greatest goods, hot coffee, with winter.  I have much more positive feelings about winter now that I've taken this action.  It's snowing something fierce this evening as I write.  I'm excited about tomorrow.  I'm going to get up, fill my snowman cup with coffee, look out the window and enjoy the awesome beauty of the freshly fallen snow and plot my next step.  Starting a business making snowman coffee cups in Cancun is what comes to mind. 
•   "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived." (John Eldredge, Wild at Heart)  The difference?  Fun.  An adventure is fun.  It might be dangerous.  It might be scary.  But the underlying attitude you take on an adventure is "this is going to be fun!"  A problem doesn't sound like fun.  It sounds tedious. [Unless of course you love math.  In that case a problem is an adventure but I digress.]  When you hit the deck in the morning, put on the adventurer's mindset.  What fun awaits?  What new people will you meet?  How will you make your interaction with the usual people new and different?  How can you shake things up a bit?  Tell yourself "this is going to be fun" and then make it so. 
•  A number of years ago our family decided to expand our celebrating during the Advent/Christmas season.  We started celebrating St. Nicholas Day (Dec.6) (we have a son Nicholas so it's his "Name Day") and then figured why stop there.  We added St. Lucy Day which is big in Sweden ( Dec.13) even before we had a daughter with that name and even though we're not Swedish.  We added Hanukkah (which is really nice because it lasts eight days), Our Lady of Guadalupe (Dec.12 and a huge Mexican celebration), and others, concluding with the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus at the temple (Feb.2).  Our celebrating consists mostly of taking a few moments to remember the person or event being celebrated and then eating a meal asssociated by tradition (or just by us making up a tradition) with the person or event.  This is quite fun.  Celebration is important.  Find a reason to celebrate. 
•  Today is the anniversary of the Bill of Rights.  A declaration of rights of citizens not surrendered to the government.  We can use a personal Bill of Rights as well.  A declaration of rights we refuse to surrender to the inner voices (or external ones for that matter) that keep us from moving forward and tell us we are not free.  What's holding you back from excellence?  What belief about yourself is keeping you from success?  Chances are it is founded on a lie.  Decide you are not going to surrender to a lie.  Affirm your freedom to excel.
•  Christmas is getting close.  Christmas is the celebration of God coming to us in a form we can recognize.  Human form.  One of us.  God continues to appear in human form.  He doesn't look like the artist's depiction of Jesus of Nazareth from 2000 years ago.  He looks like the face you see in the mirror.  The face countless people see everyday.  The face with the mouth that speaks to them and the eyes that see them.  What are they seeing?  Is Christ  happy to see them?  Did Christ hear what they said?  Did He notice the joy or the pain in their eyes?  Did He smile at them?  If you are a Christian, then you need to embrace the fact that the face in the mirror is the face of Christ.  You can show them the baby in the manger, you can show them the man on the cross, but if you don't show them that you, the face of Christ-- right here, right now-- loves them, then they won't really know what Christmas is all about.    
•  Something reminded of this email I wrote last year.  It starts with a conversation I had with a friend. "You look like an actor," she said. "Do you know who?"  "Brad Pitt" I replied confidently.  "No.  Think horror movies." [This was taking an unfortunate turn.]  "Freddy Krueger?"  "Yup. You look like the guy who plays Freddy Krueger.  I mean without his makeup."  Wow!  The wonders of Hollywood makeup artists.  To take what must be a stunningly handsome fellow and turn him into a gruesome ghoul for the cameras is an amazing feat.  That's what makes the movies fun.  The unreality of it all.  Nobody is who they really are and nothing that happens is really happening.  Unfortunately, this can spill over into real life.  We can avoid dealing with our life as it is while wishing someone would change the script so we got a better part.  Fortunately, the cure is pretty simple.  Life is more like improv.  You get to make your own part to a large extent.  Whatever situation you're in, you have a lot of freedom to alter it by your own decisions about what to do next.  If you want your character to have a better role, decide what you want it to be and act accordingly.
•  Gratitude is the foundation of happiness and success.  Be grateful for everything no matter how small.  Develop a habit of gratitude and you will grow happier, more confident, and more successful.
•  "Complaining is volunteering."  This is one of my basic rules of living.  If you don't like the way something is, don't complain about it unless you're willing to invest yourself in improving it.  If you can take the time to be displeased, you should also take the time to contemplate what you can do to make it better.  Griping about the fact that "they" have screwed it up and ought to fix it just doesn't cut it.
•  An effective life is like improv theatre.  You decide how to play your character and interact with the other characters and settings that show up.  Your lines are not written for you.  Your fate is not predetermined.  This may be a bit scary but not nearly as scary as letting someone else write your script.  They could turn you into a zombie.  Zombies never have a good day.  Better to take initiative for your own life and not wait for someone else to tell you what to do.
•  Today is the winter solstice.  The darkest day of the year in the northern hemisphere.  The good news is it starts getting brighter from now till summer.  The bad news is it doesn't happen very fast.  A little bit each day.  But, hey, we always look on the brightside here at funfirstliving, so here's an idea:  decide to do some small thing to brigthen somebody else's day today.  Tomorrow, make it two.  Add one thing per day.  By summer, you'll be everybody's favorite person.
•  "If it's not fun, why am I doing it?"  This is a good question to ask.  It may have a good answer.  "I am hiding in this swamp being devoured by mosquitoes because people with machetes are chasing me and being caught will be even less fun than this."  On the other hand, it may not.  "I am sitting in the stands, in the bitter cold, getting frostbitten, watching the Bears get the snot kicked out of them because I already paid for the ticket and I don't want to waste it."  Fun First Living doesn't mean everything you do will always be fun.  Sometimes unfun has to be done.  It's just easier to take when you have a good reason for it.
• Exercising in frequent intense short bursts increases your heart’s capacity to perform under stress. Generosity in frequent short bursts increases your heart’s capacity to give big when it’s needed. Get in shape!
•  The electricity is out at my house this morning courtesy of a nasty little ice storm last night but I have bravely ventured out to find a wireless connection to send out this email.  Nothing stops me from writing to you dear reader (snow, cold, ice) except when I'm too busy goofing off, which I'm not at the moment, but probably will be shortly, which is why I'm writing this now.  Christmas is a time of hope.  The new life of Christ we celebrate is an inspiration to reinvigorate our own lives.  None of us is the savior of the world but each of us is called to light up a small part of it.  Take a moment to contemplate where your light is shining now and how you can expand its reach a bit today.  Merry Christmas! 
•  Merry Christmas!  Our Christmas tradition has family and sometimes friends coming to our house on Christmas Eve to dine on carry-out food from our favorite Chinese restaurant and watch the classic movie Holiday Inn.  This year it looked like we might be staying at a Holiday Inn instead.  An ice storm knocked out our power and, even worse, the power at the Chinese restaurant. (Freezing is one thing.  Freezing without Mongolian beef is just intolerable.)  Fortunately, my sister invited us to her house, we found a substitute Chinese restaurant to supply the food, and Bing Crosby still won Marjorie Reynolds, at Fred Astaire's expense, singing White Christmas in Holiday Inn.  It was fun even though it wasn't the usual fun.  It proves you can have fun even in the face of adversity . . . as long as at least one Chinese restaurant is open.
•  Do they have TV weathermen in Hawaii?  What could they possibly have to say?  "Now for the weather.  Perfect yesterday.  Perfect now.  Perfect later.  Perfect tomorrow.  Now, let's spend the rest of this segment talking about places far away where the weather stinks so we can be grateful we live in Hawaii."  This actually might not be a bad idea.  It's important to be reminded of what's good in your life.  We can take the good things for granted and not bother to appreciate them, just like the weather in Hawaii.  As the year winds down, take a few moments each day to review the good things in your life that may be going unnoticed and give thanks and remind other people to do the same.  It's better than talking about the weather. 
•  I once saw a documentary on sumo wrestlers.  It was fascinating.  Despite being enormous they could all do the splits.  Turns out that they are not only very strong and very heavy but very flexible.  You never know what lurks beneath the surface of other people.  Taking the time to find out is one of life's greatest pleasures. 
•  It's the last week of the year. A good time to decide what fun you're going to have next year.  I'm not suggesting that you plan all the fun you're going to have. That would be limiting.  You ought to plan your minimum fun though.  Big fun like a winter trip to Florida.  Small fun like a glass of wine and a good book in the evening.  Daily fun like hitting the "snooze" and cuddling your wife in the morning. There's a lot of fun waiting to be had.  Don't leave it to others to have it all.  That would be irresponsible. 
•  No thoughts today.  Just movie fun.  Here is the link to the latest in the Chronicles of Mark series. Special thanks to Fun First subscriber Jim Graber for composing and performing the music and of course to my beloved children for making me laugh.  http://www.youtube.com/mot15#p/a/u/0/fekJ998V8cE
•  New Year's resolutions get a lot of press and a lot of discussion about their lack of success.  Probably the biggest problem with New Year's resolutions is resolving to do something you don't really want to do-- like lose weight.  You don't really want to lose weight.  You want to magically weigh less.  Losing weight means changing what you eat and drink and doing some exercise.  Chances are you don't really want to do any of those things.  That's where the small step method comes in.  The idea is to break your change down into the smallest, most insignificant seeming steps so that each step appears so easy that you can do it painlessly.  More on this tomorrow.   
•  When you have a goal, you need to start small to achieive.  You need to break it down into very samll easy steps.  For example if you want to climb Mt. Everest, your first step could be do a web search to find companies that put together Mt. Everest expeditions.  If you want to lose weight, you might start by deciding how much you want to lose (maybe do some jumping jacks while you're thinking about it!!) or when you buy french fries today,  throw the first one away so you eat one less fry.  The idea is to make it a very small step that you can do pretty easily.  That's today's assignment.  Decide on and take one small step toward meeting one of your goals.  How easy is that?