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NOVEMBER, 2009

•  Life is like baseball.  It doesn't matter how hard you get hit as long as you hold onto the ball.  The collision at the plate is a great baseball tradition.  The catcher has the ball and blocks the plate to tag the runner out.  The runner realizes he can't evade the catcher so he's out unless he can knock the ball from the catcher's hand.  Instead of sliding to evade he plows hard into the catcher hoping to pop the ball loose.  When the collision happens, the catcher may stand firm and not budge or he may go flying.  It doesn't matter.  He just has to hold onto the ball.  That's his top priority.  If he's focused on not getting knocked down, he may succeed at that but fail at his primary objective.  When you are pursuing your dreams, you are going to get plowed into at the plate.  People will try to dissuade you and they may not be very nice about it.  Don't let your focus shift to them or what they may do to you.  Concentrate on holding onto the ball.  You might get hurt.  You might get knocked off your spot.  You might be sent tumbling head over heals.  As long as you don't drop the ball, you win.
•  "You never tire of looking at a masterpiece.  You can go back to it countless times and each time see something new.  This is the excitement of loving art." (Ray Neuberger, The Passionate Collector)  It's also true that you can go back to it and see the same thing and be moved by it again and again.  It's the same with loving people.  Each encounter is a mix of seeing new things and enjoying the familiar.  How about you?  Are you excited about seeing new things and appreciative of the familiar in the "masterpieces" in your life?  Are you taking the time to actually look at them with a loving eye?  It's particularly important with the ones you've got the most invested in.  If you don't, what's the pleasure in that? 
•  What's the difference between hang-gliding and falling off a cliff? Choice. Attitude. Preparation. Pleasantness of the trip. Happiness of the ending.  In hang-gliding, you jump when you want to jump. You are expecting to have fun. You've got a big kite on your back to control the fall. The trip is exhilarating. You safely reach the end.  Falling off a cliff is a much less positive experience.  How's your life?  Are you hang-gilding or falling?  Unlike falling off a cliff, in life you can gain control, start enjoying the trip, and come to a happy ending even if you've been falling in a panic for a long time.  You just have to decide to find your kite and enjoy the adventure.  
•  "If the WHY is big enough, the HOW is usually not a problem." (Denis Waitley)  A strong desire fuels the creativity to find the means.  If you're not burning with desire for something, you won't expend the energy to find out how to achieve it. If you're passionate about your goal, you'll find the way to reach it.  Before you start pursuing something, do a passion check.  If you're lukewarm, you might not want to start the pursuit.  An unscaleable wall, to someone whose heart is not in the chase, is simply a sign to build a ladder to the impassioned.    
•  "Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." (Malcolm Forbes)  How about you?  Is your personal valuation accurate?  The fact is, you're priceless and unrepeatable.  If you don't think so, spend some time thinking about what's good about you.  No discounting.  You are probably enriching people's lives in ways you've never even noticed.  Take the time to notice.  You'll feel better and will be inspired to enrich others even more.
•  Words are like a magnifying glass.  They can make something easier to see or they can cause a painful burn.  It all depends on how you use them.  Be wise when you speak.
• Have far-fetched, childlike dreams. Growing up isn't a license to stop dreaming big. In fact, it's a better time to dream big because you can actually act on your dreams. You can't climb Mt. Everest when your six unless you can convince one of your parents to go along. As a grown up, you can do it all by yourself. But, if your only dream is getting home and watching "Leave it to Beaver" re-runs, you're missing out on the main advantage of being an adult. Now that you can act on your dreams, its' time to get serious about having some.
•  Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of the Berlin Wall being torn open and eventually down.  It was something most people thought they would never see.  Built to keep East Germans from leaving their country for the West, it was a symbol of totalitarian oppression, and worse, it was an actual tool of that oppression.  There is a constant struggle between freedom and enslavement.  A daily evaluation of whether the risk of choosing freedom is worth taking or if it's better to live the predictable, if unpleasant, life of enslavement.  Probably none of us have been in the position the East Germans were in, having our government shoot us if we tried to cross the Wall.  But we probably all have less obvious enslavements.  Things we endure that we haven't mustered the courage to change.  This anniversary is a good time to take a crack at changing those things.  Now may be the time.  No one expected the Wall to come down either, and then, it did.
•  Enjoy the escapades of my son, Tom, as he works feverishly on his screenplay.  Click this link for the show.     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDDFZzTRuqs
•  I have a book with an aerial photograph for each day of the year.  Today's is of Stonehenge, the ancient arrangement of huge stones, located in England.  Whenever I think of Stonehenge, I don't think about the difficulty the people who erected it must have had or why they did it.  No, I think about the movie This is Spinal Tap.  The movie is a spoof of a documentary about a rock band.  The band has written a song called "Stonehenge".  As they perform it live for the first time, a replica of Stonehenge descends from the rafters as a backdrop.  Unfortuntately, there's been a miscommunication.  Instead of 18 foot high stones, they are only 18 inches.  The band members tower over the puny little Stonehenge completely destroying the intended effect.  It is absolutely hilarious.  Life is going to involve some Stonehenge incidents.  Somebody is not going to get the message on something and you're going to be left standing there looking ridiculous in the midst of your own little Stonehenges.  That's when it's important to remember that laughing at yourself is the key to enjoying life.  It's particularly important when everyone else is already laughing at you. 
•  I saw a bumper sticker that said "The less you know, the more you'll believe."  I suppose it's true in some ways but I think the better one would be "The more you know, the more you don't."  Knowledge leads to an appreciation of how ignorant you remain.  If it's led you somewhere else, you might want to question if it's really knowledge, or just arrogance, you got workin' there.
•  How grateful are you?  Are you only grateful when everything is perfect ( meaning never)?  Are you grateful when you stub your toe because it reminds you that you 1) are able to walk (though now with a limp), 2) have excellently functioning pain sensors in your toes, and 3) own a lovely coffee table you can unwittingly kick anytime of the day or night while just passing by?  Chances are you fit somewhere in-between.  The goal is to move away from "only when it's perfect" gratitude toward "stubbed toe" gratitude.  If you actually get there, you might want to keep it to yourself. Your misunderstanding relatives might take legal action to declare you insane!
•  "That was the best vacation ever!" (Dash in The Incredibles)  Dash, a little boy, utters this line in the movie after recounting the many battles he and his family have just fought against numerous guys who were trying to kill them.  Such is the view of a little boy.  Fun is facing death and escaping.  While I'm not recommending plunging yourself into situations where people are trying to kill you (though some people's callings can lead to that,) a little risk-taking is good for most of us.  Something that makes us appreciate we're alive.  It might be a roller coaster, or rock climbing, or just walking across the room and starting a conversation with a stranger.  Something that gets you outside your rut.  Something that gets the adrenaline pumping.  Something that makes you think "that was the best ___ ever!"
•  One of my favorite quotes is from former Major League Baseball pitcher Orel Hershiser: "They pay the guys with the bats too."  He was trying to explain to reporters how the fact he'd just lost a game didn't mean he hadn't pitched well.  Sometimes you can pitch badly and still win because even though your pitches didn't do what they were supposed to the hitters only hit them to your fielders.  Other times you can throw exactly the pitches you want but the hitters will find a way to hit them to open spots on the field anyway.  Over time, if you consistently throw good pitches you are going to be more successful than not.  But, that doesn't mean you'll succeed every time.  Good hitters can hit even the best pitches sometimes.  It's important not to let a bad result get to you.  You can't control the result.  You can only control your actions.  If you continue to perfect your skills, good results will outweigh the bad ones. 
•  I've written before about the guy who read the "If You Swim Here, You Will Die" sign and promptly jumped into the water, was drawn into the current, and plunged over a giant waterfall to his death.  Sometimes it IS a good idea to not do something someone tells you not to do.  The problem is so many people will tell you not to do something for no reason other than they are naysayers.  That's why it's important to consider the source of the "don't do it" advice.  Is it a generally positive person with success in the field who isn't afraid to take a prudent risk?  You ought to think long and hard about their opinion.  They might know about that unseen waterfall ahead.
•  "If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day." (J.A. Wheeler)  I might add if you haven't done something strange, it hasn't been much of a day.  Be peculiar.  It's very entertaining.
•  "A pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun." (Heinlein)  I'm not sure I was correct more when I was a pessimist but I know I have a lot more fun now that I'm an optimist.  The big picture of life is filled with joy and wonder even though certain moments of it are kind of scary.  It's like being submerged by a big wave in the Caribbean.  Eventually, you're going to pop back up into the sun-drenched paradise you were enjoying before you went under.  Periodic submersion is inevitable and sometimes seems awfully long.  Optimists just hold their breath and know that resurfacing is close at hand. 
•  Kids can make a game of anything.  [I used to try to run around the outside of the house before the little black dot on the revolving disk that spun inside the electric meter measuring electric usage made one revolution. Today, I'd have to uplug all the appliances.  "Why's the ice cream melted?" "Dad unplugged the freezer and then went outside and started running around the house.  I didn't ask why.  I didn't want to know."]  Kids  know that life is supposed to be fun so they find opportunities for it everywhere.  The happiest and most creative people never lose that ability.  Challenge yourself to make a game of something you need to do today.  Guess how many lights will be green or red on your drive home.  Guess how many phone calls you'll get in the next hour.  Guess who the next person to show up and whine at you will be.  Just make a game of something. 
•  A kind word costs nothing but enriches both giver and receiver.
•  We've got our toes on the starting line to the holiday season.  The mad dash from Thanksgiving through Christmas to the New Year is about to start.  The starter's pistol is cocked and aimed in the air ready to fire.  If you wish it was loaded and aimed at your head, you're probably not alone.  Many people dread the holidays.  Mostly because they can't stand being with their relatives.  I can't make your relatives better but I can offer a way to make it all more bearable.  Humor.  Not telling jokes but finding humor in the things that usually drive you crazy.  Guess what time your whiny Aunt Agnes is going to complain about something for the first time.  Twitch your left eye whenever anyone tells you what's wrong with your kids' behavior, or their career choice, or the way you raised them.  This will make you want to laugh so you can then have fun trying to supress it.  Give it a shot.  At the very least your constant smiling will give people something to wonder about.   
•  Thanksgiving Day: Today is the day to let people know you are thankful to have them in your life. Thanking God for His many blessings is important but He already knows what's in your heart. Mere mortals are not so fortunate. If you don't tell people you're thankful for them, they'll never know.  Make a point to tell people how much they enrich your life and commit yourself to enriching theirs. 
•  I read an observation that people who flock to shop today are choosing to value money more than time.  They are willing to stand in line hours before a store opens or just take the extra time to stand in line at the checkout in order to save a few bucks.  The point being that they must not put much value on their time.  I think this view of the Black Friday phenomenon is too narrow. Many things could motivate people's actions today.  One is the desire to hunt.  To plot and execute a strategy to fell the best game for the benefit of your clan.  Another is the competitive desire to beat somebody else to the prize or to demonstrate your superiority to the slackers who stayed at home.  For some, its a time of social bonding. Family or friends working as a team to achieve a goal.  Or, even just the social aspect of hanging out with a bunch of other people who have chosen to plunge into the craziness, comrades-in-arms, so to speak.  There are probably other motivations as well.  Don't be too quick to assume you know other people's motivations.  They may be a lot deeper than what first meets your eye.
•  Stuff.  Our lives are filled with stuff.  Big stuff, small stuff, expensive stuff, cheap stuff. Stuff.  Since we are material, as well as spiritual, beings we need stuff to survive.  Somehow we've moved from survival to near suffocation.  Taking care of our stuff becomes more time-consuming than our fulltime jobs.  We have to rent storage space to keep the stuff that doesn't fit in our houses.  We seem to acquire without any particular purpose.  Take some time and evalute your relationship to stuff.  Is it a healthy one or is it dysfunctional?  If it's dysfunctional guess what?  Stuff isn't going to do anything to fix it.    
•  "It's not fair!"  Uttering these words was the worst offense my kids could commit (other than being a Yankee fan).  They seemed to learn the lesson well.  I don't remember any of them actually saying it.  It's true, life is not fair.  At least by the common definition: I didn't get what I want or somebody else got something better.  Focusing on how you got cheated is completely unproductive.  Much better to be grateful for the good you've got and the bad you've avoided.  Gratitude makes unfairness irrelevant.  What others have or you lack simply doesn't matter anymore.