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OCTOBER, 2009

•  "The jungle is neutral.  It is your knowledge, attitude, skills and habits that see you through.  The jungle is what it is.  It doesn't think.  It is the backdrop for your journey." (Col. Spencer Chapman)  Our surrounding circumstances, whether hospitable or not, are just the setting in which we perform.  Sometimes we can change the setting.  Often we just need to adapt.  Find a way to use the circumstances to our advantage.  Change or adapt.  The one thing we can't do is whine until things get better.  Things never get better for whiners.  
•  In one of The Beatles' movies (Hard Day's Night, I think) the guys in the band are kicking a soccer ball (they'd probably call it a football being English and all) around outside when their manager makes them stop to get back to something serious.  "We were just havin' a bit of fun" one of them exclaims.  This line has always stuck with me.  "Havin' a bit of fun" is kind of a vocation for me.  It requires discipline.  Sometimes you can really feel pressure to be serious.  Especially if every one around you is being serious.  Peer pressure can be tough.  That's when you have to persevere.  Don't follow the crowd.  I'm not saying there's never a time to be serious.  The problem is seriousness is like kudzu.  It tends to grow and grow until it takes over everything.  A little may be nice but it's hard to have just a little.  Be very cautious when employing seriousness.  I'm not kidding.  This is serious
•  Write a letter of recommendation for your spouse, family members, friends.  Not to send to anyone but to keep for your own reference.  It's fun.  You'll be energized by thinking about each of these people in a positive way and making a record of it you can refer back to.  You could always give the person a copy as well to let them know the positive things you see in them.  Try it out.
•  "Who searched for you?"  This question appears on my computer numerous times each day.  It's always accompanied by a picture of a beautiful young woman with an alluring smile.  It's never her who's searching for me though.  It's always some 60 year old guy from Cleveland or Altoona.  Go figure.  If they'd just put his picture up, it would save a lot of time.  We all want to be wanted by the people we want to want us.  If you become the kind of person people want to want them, you can change the world.  If you sit around hoping the people you want to want you start wanting you, you're going to feel pretty unwanted most of the time. [I bet you want me to stop saying "want".  So, I will.]
•  One of the books in the New Testament is "The Acts of the Apostles."  Notice it's not called "The Pious Holy Thoughts of the Apostles."  It's about what they did not what they were thinking.  Thinking is good before acting but it's not a substitute for acting.  What we think isn't much help to anybody unless we act on it.
•  "We're just trying to find the boundaries of your knowledge." "Well, you won't need a telescope." This was an exchange between an examiner and Phd candidate after a series of particularly difficult questions were posed during the candidate's oral exam.(While this is a clever response, it dangerously begs the question: "But do we need a microscope!")  While a telescope may not be needed to see all that you know, a slow motion camera might come in handy.  We think at such a rapid rate that we can lose sight of what we do know.  It's good to sit and slowly run through what you know or think you know about a problem you're facing.  Taking the time to slow things down will help you see what you know more clearly and see possible solutions as well.
•  Pay an honest compliment to the next person you see. Tomorrow make it two people. Keep going till it’s everybody.  Telling someone something you admire about them encourages them.  Looking for something to admire in each person you see turns you into a positive person.  Positive people are happier.  Who doesn't want to be happier?
•  They say, when you’re running uphill, it’s best to keep your head up and eyes on the top of the hill. This is true for life as well. Keep your eyes on your goal no matter how steep or long the hill looks and you will make quick (though probably not painless) progress toward the top.
•  A friend's brother had a part-time job in college running a sorting machine for the post office.  He had a professor who was particularly obnoxious.  Whenever a piece of mail addressed to this professor popped into his sorting machine, he keyed in the zip code for Fairbanks, and the professor's mail was off to Alaska.  Be kind.  You never know what passive-aggressive mischief lies in the hearts of those you treat shabbily.
•  Christopher Columbus never got where he was going.  He was going to Asia.  He ran into another place along the way instead.  His accidental discovery worked out pretty well for him though.  He had a goal.  He pursued that goal.  He didn't reach it but he found something different and very valuable while he was pursuing the goal.  When we are in motion, our chances of discovering something wonderful are infinitely better than the chances of something wonderful coming to find us on our couch. 
•  I saw an amazing thing while driving the other day.  A tiny poodle was standing with its front legs on the outside driver's side mirror and its back legs on the car door near the open window.  The dog was completely outside the car while it was driving down the street.  The dog was having a great time.  The little dog version of being an airplane wing-walker I guess.  Maybe it got tired of watching big dogs riding down the street with their heads stuck out the window enjoying the wind and decided it was going to one-up them.  It was fascinating and terrifying to watch all at the same time.  Sometimes there's a fine line between risk-taking and stupidity.  Which side of the line do you think the dog was on? 
•  "Stop. Look. Listen."  These words were part of an ad campaign to teach people how to avoid getting run over by a train at a railroad crossing.  They also serve well in building our personal relationships.  To develop good relationships: 1) Stop (your self-focus); 2) Look (see and care about the other person; 3) Listen ( pay attention to what they're communicating not what you're going to say in response).
•  If you think you're too old to do something, you should probably think again.  No matter what it is, chances are somebody older than you already is doing it quite successfully.  Age is a lame excuse for not attempting something you want to do.  I just read that a 47 yr-old woman won a "Young Lawyers" fittest woman competition defeating women half her age.  Be careful.  When you say "I'm too old" you may actually be saying "I'm a coward."  
•  Don't waste your time worrying about what people are thinking about you.  They probably aren't.  And, if they are, so what?  It's not like you can do anything about it.  The important thing is to be the person you want to be.  Self-respect is going to get you a lot farther than seeking respect from the outside.
•  Chad Johnson, a professional football player, changed his name to Chad Ochocinco.  Ochocinco is Spanish for "85", which is the number on Chad's uniform.  I guess he wanted to see his name in both letters and numbers on the back of his uniform.  Maybe "Johnson" was just too common and he wanted to stand out.  Maybe he just wanted to confuse people listening to the Spanish broadcasts. ["Who's 85?"  "Ochocinco."  "Right, 85, who is he?" "Ochocinco". "Ya, what's his name?"]  Giving yourself an unusual name is one way to stand out.  Outstanding performance is another.  It's harder, but ultimately will make you more memorable.
•  Many years ago a friend of mine had just started on a new venture.  He said he was depressed by how it was going.  I said "It's too early to be depressed."  He said "It's never too early to be depressed."  This is kind of his motto.  I have a different view.  As long as you're still drawing a breath you can change your course of action.  As long as you can change your course of action, it's a waste of time and energy to be depressed.  Better to spend them on assessing your options and acting on the best ones. 
•  The aliens are taking my stuff.  This morning my razor was taken.  I went to get it from it's spot and it was gone. They're probably scraping their faces (or whatever passes for a face on an alien) at this very moment and waiting for a beautiful woman to appear and start caressing them just like in the TV commercials they've been watching in order to understand our culture.  I might not have known it was the aliens except for the fact that shortly after discovering my razor was missing, I found my wedding ring which disappeared a couple weeks ago.  They returned it, sticking it in the bottom of my laptop bag, among all of the cords, rechargers, etc.  I guess their moral code only allows them to take one thing at a time.  Some people might say that the disappearance of my things was the result of my own inattention.  That somehow I was responsible for the events in my own life.  You have to cut these people some slack.  The aliens obviously did something to their brains before returning them to earth.
•  "You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess.  It's a love story, baby just say yes."  I found myself singing this line from Taylor Swift's hit "Love Story".  It's a great song.  However, it's a very strange line for a 53 year old man to be saying.  I do not, and never have, wanted to be a princess.  I was simply parroting somebody else's thought.  This is harmless in singing (though my singing can hardly be characterized as harmless) but quite dangerous otherwise.  We need to think for ourselves.  Somebody else's plan may good for them but could be a disaster for you.  
•   "The busy man is never wise and the wise man is never busy," so says philosopher Lin Yu Tang.  In the U.S., we're addicted to "busy".  We treat "busy" as a virtue.  Like it's the opposite of the dreaded vice "lazy".  We complain about being "too busy" but we don't mean it.  What we really mean is "I don't feel like I'm doing everything I need to do."  Why do we feel like we need to do so much?  We've abandoned wisdom.  Wisdom requires thinking and choosing what's best to do.  We're afraid we'll make the wrong choice.  We're afraid we'll disappoint someone or be criticized for not doing something so we try to do everything.  Be wise not busy.  Decide what's important and forget the rest. [No, it's not ALL important no matter what you might believe at the moment.]   
•  My wife suggested , as a follow-up to yesterday's email, I give examples of some things I've chosen not to do and why I'm happy with those choices.  For one, I don't do anything to improve my house.  I don't think about ways to make it nicer or increase its resale value.  I don't think of ways to make the yard nicer.  I don't fertilize the lawn or try to fix the bare spots or think about building a gazebo, or upgrading the bathroom or putting on an addition or even moving to a bigger, nicer, more expensive house.  I would never build my "dream" house because I would never dream about a house.  A friend was building a house and told me he was about to spend his evening picking out door hardware.  I said I didn't want to spend even the tiniest fraction of my life looking at doorknobs.  If something in my house breaks, we call a repair guy to come fix it.  I don't make any attempt to fix anything.  There was a time when I would think about and try to do house stuff because I felt some kind of obligation to do so.  Eventually, I decided that other stuff was a lot more important to me and I wasn't going to spend my time doing something unimportant.  I'm not advocating house neglect for everyone.  It's just a choice I made so I could work on things that really mattered to me. 
•  Teddy Roosevelt's birthday today.  You can agree or disagree with what Teddy Roosevelt did but you can't deny that he did it.  He didn't allow himself to get cheated out of living life the way he wanted-- large.  He was exuberant and purposeful.  In these things, he is good to emulate.  Try on a little purposeful exuberance today.  
•  The World Series starts tonight.  While I have my disagreements with the current management of Major League Baseball [i.e. Commissioner Bud "I don't care if baseball games can't end in a tie I am ending this game in a tie" Selig], I won't get into them because they are things beyond my control.  What's important is I do love the game of baseball and the World Series holds the promise of baseball at it's best.  When the first pitch flies, I'll be loving it just like I did when I was 8 years old.  My "adult" gripes about the business of the Major Leagues will be erased by the kid-in-me's love of the game.  The kid's way is almost always the better way.  It finds joy in the worst of circumstances.  A kid will probably enjoy the World Series even if the Yankees win.  I hope we don't have to find out if I'm that kid-like!
•  There's a great lesson (I think it's in the book Getting to Yes) concerning the importance of communication.  Two sisters are arguing over who gets the last orange.  Finally, after much wrangling, they cut it in half.  One sister throws away the peel and eats her half of the orange.  The other sister, peels her half, keeps the peel for some cooking project and throws away the fruit.  They both could have had what they wanted had they focused on communicating rather than arguing.  Instead they both ended up with less.  State clearly what you want.  Listen carefully for what the other person wants.  It can solve a lot of problems. 
•  The World Series is a spectator event.  Most of us can only watch.  Only a few get to play.  Don't turn your life into a spectator event.  Watching as it passes by without getting in the game.  Actually, you ARE in the game.  That's a fact.  The problem is acting like you're a spectator when you're actually a player.  This is common and hazardous.  If your not fully engaged in each moment of your life, you could take a fastball to the head without even knowing the pitch was on the way.  At the very least, you're going to get called out looking.  Life is not kind to players acting like spectators.
•  Happy Birthday to us!  This is the third anniversary of the Fun First! daily email.  I started by telling you that your fears were like small children in Halloween costumes. Not really that scary when you unmasked them.  I hope you found that message, and others over the years, helpful in making your life less scary and more fun.  Life really is an amazing gift and exciting adventure.  For the most part, life is what we make of it.  I try to make it fun.  It's worked pretty well so far.  Writing to you is a big part of the fun.  Thanks for reading.  Thanks for letting me know when you like what you've read.  Thanks for letting me know when you don't like what you've read.  I love hearing from you.  I appreciate you giving me the chance to enter your day.  Now, get out there and have fun!