FUN FIRST!

Daily Encouragement for Better Living

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AUGUST, 2009

I injured my back doing my taxes. No, really. I'm not making this up. I'd put them on extension and decided to do them over the weekend. I had all my records in a pile on the floor. When I picked up the pile, I got a pain shooting through my lower back. I had to laugh. An always painful process taken to a new level. The determination of your income tax liability is a bizarre process. Like I've said before it's kind of like being robbed and then having the robber ask you questions to see if he's going to give you some of your money back. ["How long have you owned this watch? Only 11 months? Too bad. If you'd owned it over a year, I would have given you back one of those fives I took from your wallet. How old are your kids? Wow, this just isn't your day. If they were under 17 on December 31st of last year, I would have given you back the change I took from your left pocket. Did you drive here? How far? Five miles? Ok, I'll give you 5 cents a mile. Here's one of your quarters back."] Don't act like Congress. Keep your objectives clear and your actions focused on meeting those objectives. Overtinkering will turn your life into the Internal Revenue Code & Regulations.
Speed bumps are an annoyance placed in the road to inconvenience the law-abiding in a vain attempt to deter the non-law-abiding. Speed bumps are evil because they attempt to do something indirectly rather than directly. It's like banning employees from eating lunch at their desks because one guy brings a camp stove and fries fish on it stinking up the whole office. There are few, if any, problems that are better solved by general edict than by direct personal action. Of course, direct personal action takes more work, which is why we use "speed bumps" in the first place. Don't be lazy. Be direct.
"If you're bored, you're probably boring." A friend of mine spouted this bit of harsh truth one day. We make our own enjoyment. Don't wait for something interesting to do. Create it.
Today is the 46th day of summer. There are 47 days of summer left. Yet, many people are lamenting that summer is almost over. Stop whining. Half of summer remains to be enjoyed. Make plans to drink it in. Start now. Get outside in the cool of the morning. Bask in the midday warmth. Make a list of the things you love about summer and make sure you take the time to enjoy them.
I just came from watching the morning workout for race horses at Arlington Park. Tomorrow is the tracks big event: The Arlington Million. They had a special program this morning with many Hall of Fame jockeys talking about their careers. These guys had ridden some of the greatest horses of all time. One thing I love about great jockeys is they are humble in the truest sense of the word. They appreciate their own talent but know that their success is totally dependent on the horses they get to ride. They are quick to express their gratitude, awe, and respect for the champions that carried them to fame. It's a good trait to develop: appreciation for those who have given you a chance to excel.
I'm so excited. I got to meet the jockey (Ron Turcotte) who rode Secretariat in his Triple Crown winning races. I wanted to ask him if I could give him a horsey-back ride so I could have something in common with Secretariat. Fortunately, I was able to contain myself. Secretariat exemplifies excellence. If Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan were horses, they'd want to be Secretariat. It's important to appreciate beauty and greatness. The appreciation lifts us and inspires us to reach for more in ourselves. Go to YouTube and type in "Secretariat Belmont Stakes" and see greatness and beauty in action. Remember as you watch that the other horses in the race were among the best in the world at the time.
I don't understand serious people. You know who they are. The people who come to the banquet of life and act like the only thing on the menu is dog poop. People who think joy is a vice. "Life is serious business," they say. For them "fun" is a synonym for "unproductive." These people are always striving to clean their plates and never enjoying a single bite. I'd like to help them but they're never going to listen to a guy whose motto is "Fun First!" I need to develop a sneakier plan.
"I survived but the bull definitely left its mark." So said my young friend, Lisa, about her run with the bulls in Pomplona. She was in Europe on a study abroad program and apparently decided on a full immersion cultural experience. Carumba! Can't you see sometime in the future: "Hey, mom. How'd you get that scar?" "I was gored running with the bulls in Pomplona." ["Hmm. Mom might be a little crazy. Maybe I'll go clean my room to avoid any unpleasant incidents."] Everything we've experienced, even bad experiences, can be drawn on to serve us. This is important to remember. Especially in the midst of bad experiences.
"Classical music reminds us of the beauty we can create." I heard this on the radio one morning. It's true. God created countless beautiful things. He also made us to create beauty ourselves. To be made in God's image is to be made creative. Music, painting, sculpture, design, dance, writing, photography are some ways we create beauty. They are all reminders that we have the power to create in our own right. It is a gift of being human. We all have it. What's your? What beauty are you called to create?
Today is my wedding anniversary. It's my chance to repeat my five lessons from marriage: 1) You can't "fix" someone else no matter how much you want to or how hard you try; 2) If you "fix" yourself, the other person will get better; 3) Love is the absence of selfishness; 4) Every act of kindness is big no matter how small it looks ; 5) Laugh at everything especially yourself. Taking yourself seriously isn't the road to unhappiness. It is unhappiness.
Mother Teresa said: "Never let anyone leave you without being better or happier." That's a fair challenge. Every person we meet should be enriched by the experience. Challenge yourself to pay enough attention to people that you can help each of them be happier or see something that allows them to improve their lives. You might not be able to make them both "better" and "happier" in the same conversation. But you ought to be able to do one or the other and often both.
What is listening? That's easy, you might say. It's the time in a conversation when you're waiting for the other person to shut up so you can tell them why they are wrong. If they are really inconsiderate, they may keep talking forcing you to interrupt in order to straighten them out. Yes, listening is that annoying time when your opportunity to display your wisdom is being stifled. While few of us would describe listening this way, it may be a more accurate description of our listening practice than we'd like. We tend to lose the two way nature of conversation and get caught up in what we have to say. We can be more effective if we turn off the "this is what I think" switch and pay attention.
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."(Franklin P. Jones) This quote is priceless. It hits a bigger theme as well: if you do things in hopes of being appreciated, you're going to be disappointed. We can't guarantee we'll be honored. All we can do is be honorable and hope for the best.
I read the other day that the crypt space directly above the one Marilyn Monroe's remains are buried in is being auctioned on ebay and the bid is already over 4 million dollars. The widow of the current occupant of the space is selling it. His remains will be relocated. The guy bought the space so he could be interred directly above Marilyn. His wish is about to become dis-fulfilled. You lose a lot of control over things once you're dead. Best to use your pre-dead time wisely.
I got the chance to see Zig Ziglar speak yesterday. Zig is one of the premier motivational speakers and writers of all time. Zig's in his 80s now. Much of his presentation was video clips of presentations he'd made earlier in his life. He must not have the energy or the memory to do a full presentation live anymore. Even Zig Ziglar gets old. This was very sobering for me. It's important to live each day giving it your full. I'm sure Zig always did and still is. It's just that his "full" isn't quite what it used to be. Don't put off doing anything important you want to do. The day may come when you won't be capable of doing it anymore. Don't delay.
"Wonder" is cool. It's looking at things in amazed admiration. Like a child watching a bubble float through the air and trying to catch it without popping it. Wonder is the root of genius. Being fascinated with what you see and imagining what you don't. Practice wonder. Take a few moments to be amazed by something. The way your hand works. The way a bird flies. The way your mind thinks. Enjoy life in its intricacies and simplicities.
This is Mother Teresa's 99th birthday. She said a lot of wise things but I think this is my favorite: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Time to clear your calendar of judgments and free yourself for love.
I just got new eyeglasses. It always amazes me how much clearer everything looks. It's a great experience-- being able to see-- clearly-- without having to look through the accumulated scratches and smudges and the old prescription that's not quite right for my current circumstances. It's good to apply a "new glasses" approach to your life as well. Consciously decide to cast off the scratches and smudges of your past that are obscuring your view of today. Look at today as if yesterday didn't matter. It doesn't.
Just because I can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. This is the story of me looking for something-- particularly in the kitchen-- especially in the refrigerator. Usually, my wife or daughter has to find it for me and then we have a little chuckle about how pathetic I am in the "seeing what's right in front of my face" department. This can be true for talents as well. They may be like the meatballs, sitting on the top shelf in the front, with a sign that says "Meatballs" on the container. Right there. Plain for anybody to see . . . but you. Ask people what your talents are. You may discover you've got some you never saw before. Tell people what talents you see in them. Everybody needs to find them before they spoil.
I think it's Jerry Seinfeld who said: "Most people say their greatest fear is public speaking. The second most say death. Does that mean at a funeral more people would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy?" When looking stupid no longer seems a fate worse than death, you're life is ready to take off. Success at anything is going to involve the risk of looking stupid on a pretty regular basis. Don't wait for death to cure you of this fear.
Being alive today is an amazing gift. I turn on my computer and see the digital photo of Vermeer's beautiful 17th century painting "Girl with a Pearl Earring" which I have set as a background. I go to pandora.com and listen to a work by Mozart. It's all right here. The richness of the ages is accessible with a few clicks. The genius of Vermeer and Mozart brought to me by the genius of so many others. We are awesome creatures capable of tremendous things. If you're not having fun, you're not paying attention. Be amazing. You were made for it.
Confidence is a belief you are competent to make good decisions. Confidence is built up over time. It comes from remembering your successes, even the small ones, and building on them. Nobody pitches his first baseball game in the Majors. Everybody starts in Little League. Start small and grow your successes one small step at a time.