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APRIL, 2009

•  "Eeyah," I screamed as the cold water sprayed me.  I'd turned on the kitchen faucet to rinse a bowl but instead of a downward stream from the faucet I got a shower from the sprayer.  Hmm.  On closer examination, I found the sprayer had been fastened into the "on" position by a ponytail holder.  I started laughing and found a couple other laughers in an adjoining room.  April Fools' Day strikes again. I retreated to my room to scare up a dry shirt.  I've been laughing about it ever since.  I can't imagine how I got such devious children!! They've definitely got the Fun First thing figured out.
•  Being trained as a lawyer results in some odd ways of thinking.  I left my cellphone, with a partly composed text message, open on the seat of my car.  As I was driving I thought, "If I get in an accident, they'll use that partial text message as evidence I was texting while driving and, therefore, negligent."  Good grief!  Who cares? (other than my insurance company!!) Our training and upbringing can form our thinking in ways that may not be conducive to our success.  My training to focus on placing or avoiding blame isn't helpful in most relationships and it's hard to take a risk if you're thinking about who's going to get blamed if it doesn't work out.
•  A simple trick to keep you from getting off track is to train yourself to treat every setback as an isolated incident.  We get into trouble when we take an unfavorable occurence and think about it as the beginning of a string of bad things or as another link in the chain of failure.  Instead, tell yourself that the event, no matter how bad it seemed, was just one event.  It means nothing to what will happen.  The past does not control the present or the future.  Put it behind you and move on.
•  I have some friends whose 5-year old daughter has conversations in front of the mirror with imaginary people about how pretty she is.  "Why, yes, I am very beautiful."  I hope she's still having these conversations when she's 15 and 25 and 35 and 50.  While I guess it's possible to be overly abosrbed in how beautiful you are, I've never met a woman who was.  They're much more likely to be obsessed with how beautiful they aren't.  There's some unwritten code that says "when you look at yourself, you must only see ugly."  This is bad.  It's disparaging God's greatest masterpiece.  As usual, the 5-year old's view is much truer than the grownup one.  
•  If the environment wants to be saved, maybe it should take a little personal responsibility.  Like not blowing 40 mph winds down my street when the full recycling bin is on the curb.  I spent some time this morning retrieving my no longer full recycling bin and as much of its erstwhile contents as I could chase down from my down wind neighbors' yards.  The rest is probably in Atlanta by now.  That's the way it goes.  No matter how much effort and good intention you invest in saving people there's just no saving them.  What they do is strictly up to them.  And, more importantly, what you do is up to you.
•  At a Major League baseball game, I sat in front of the stadium's assistant groundskeeper.  He was engaged in a passionate conversation about the wonders of grass and the evils of artificial turf.  The guy loved to grow grass.  I wonder how this passion got ignited.  Did he take too many bad hops off the chin as a kid and decide to dedicate his life to the elimination of the bad hop?  When the other kids were trying to start the game, was he crawling around pulling up weeds and crabgrass?  It doesn't really matter.  The main thing is the guy was clearly doing what he loved.  Whenever he got hooked on grass, he was smart enough and determined enough to find a way to make it his life's work.  It's a good thing to imitate.
•  My favorite part of Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ is early in the film. Jesus is being tempted by the devil in the garden at Gethsemane. The devil is questioning Him, telling Him it's too much for a man to do, pointless, etc. During the conversation a snake slithers out from the devil's robe. It slithers around Jesus for the duration of the devil's tempting. After all of the devil's work to instill doubt in Jesus about the value of what He is about to endure, the camera focuses on Jesus's resolute face. Then "Whack!" He stomps the head of the snake and turns as the mob that has come to arrest Him arrives. I love the sound of the stomp. The sound of victory. I wish I had it on a recording so whenever I'm tempted to give up or think whatever measly little paltry "sacrifice" I think I'm making isn't worth it I could stop and say to the tempter: "Wait a minute. Let me play this for you. 'Whack!' Recognize that sound? That's the sound of God winning and you losing. Let's listen again. 'Whack!'" 
• Even the greatest golfers hit bad shots. What makes them great is they seldom hit consecutive bad shots. A bad shot is just an opportunity to hit a great shot. Don’t dwell on the trouble you’ve got yourself in. Focus on the amazing recovery your going to make from it.  The last shot can't be undone.  Neither can yesterday's actions.  But wherever you find yourself, look to where you want to go not what got you to where you are.  Determine the best shot to take now and give it a whack.  
•  When the women arrived at the tomb, the stone had been rolled away and Jesus's body was gone. The rock would have kept them from knowing Jesus had risen. If it hadn't been moved, and they couldn't move it, the first step in the revelation that He was alive could not have been taken. God moved the rock. Is there a rock blocking your way to the truth? When the time is right, God will remove it. The women went to the tomb not knowing how they would get in to attend to the body. They must have figured they'd find a way when they got there. God moved the rock and they got more than they were expecting. He'll do they same for you. 
•  One of the most prized skills you can develop is the ability to shut up.  It's even more important than tying your shoes.  You can use velcro for your shoes. [I guess you could use velcro for your mouth too but it would be awkward.]  Not speaking, when accompanied by not thinking about what you're going to say next, leads to listening.  Listening leads to learning.  Learning leads to understanding.  Understanding leads to a positive relationship.  A positive relationship leads to friendship or sales or romance or whatever.  Time to shut up.   
•  As the subway train's doors opened and I prepared to get out, a group of teenage boys started to get on.  A middle-aged woman standing near me savagely elbowed one of them in the ribs.  "Out first.  Then in!," she growled.  Ah, New York!  The Bluntness Capital of the World.  Bluntness has its place (even outside New York) but you need to be sure the other person is ready to receive it.  If your relationship isn't strong, bluntness probably won't be well received.  The purpose of being blunt is to help the other person see something they've been missing.  If they don't trust you, they won't see it and will probably just look for a chance to elbow you back.  Use bluntness judiciously . . . unless you're a New Yorker.
•  Today is Leonardo Da Vinci's birthday.  Da Vinci had an amazing mind.  We may not be like Da Vinci but we have pretty amazing minds as well.  The big question is what we do with them.  What do we think about?  We can fall into habits of thinking about not much at all.  This is a waste of a great gift.  We are creative by design.  Don't let your creativity lie dormant.  Challenge yourself to create.  Write a poem or a story or a song.  Paint a picture.  Make a new meal without a recipe.  Solve a problem.  We can spend all our time looking at other people's creations.  Don't just be a receiver.
•  What can you control?  Not much.  Not world events.  Not other people.  Not whether the Cubs can score a guy from 2nd base with less than 2 outs.  Nope.  You can't control much.  About all you can control is what think and what you do.  But, if you do that, you've controlled everything that matters.
•  When you are facing a new challenge, it's good to have a catalog of past sucesses to draw on..  Things that make you feel confident.  Things that show you that you are effective.  Take a few moments to think about your life's most positive experiences and the things you consistently excel at.  Write them down.  Pull out the list and read and contemplate it before you set off for that job interview, test, or first date.  Going in confident in yourself will make you perform with confidence.  A confident performance is a winning performance. 
•  Yesterday, I suggested keeping a catalog of past successes to use as a confidence builder when you are about to face a new challenge.  Another important tool in succeeding is visualization.  Before you undertake a task, go through the process of successfully completing it in your mind.  See each specific element you need to accomplish. Then, visualize yourself successfully completing it.  Smoothly.  Confidently.  Run through the scenario several times in the days leading up to the event.  When the big day arrives, you'll perform well because you've already done it in your head.
•  Do you ever hesitate to start a conversation with a new person because you don't know what to say?  Don't worry about it.  The main thing is how you say it.  People are going to try to get a snapshot of the whole you.  You can say almost anything as long as you are smiling and making eye contact.  If its sunny, I might say "I hope the glare off my head isn't too bad in your eyes."  It helps people see I don't take myself too seriously which makes them more comfortable.  The main thing is to smile and look in their eyes with a look that says you are really glad to meet them.  They probably won't remember the first thing you ever said to them but they will remember if your demeanor showed you thought they were valuable to find.
•  The key to a good conversation is getting the other person to tell you what they really want to tell you.  It's helping them see clearly what they want to say and convincing them you really want to hear.  Maintaining good eye contact and asking questions is important in this.  Of course, you actually do have to care about what they are saying.  Faking it isn't going to work.  People are interested in people who are interested in them.  If you convey a genuine care for them and their needs it builds trust.  Trust is the foundation of all successful relationships. Business or personal. 
•  Be interesting. How?  Learn stuff.  Not so you can tell people what you know (they probably don't care) but so you can ask them intelligent questions about what they know.  When you see an article about something you might not have any personal interest in, remember you may run into someone for whom it's the most important thing in their life.  A few moments spent picking up the basics of a business or hobby might pay big dividends in a conversation down the road.  If you learn to love learning, you'll become a more interesting person and enhance your chances for profitable relationships.
•   "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  Thou art more lovely and more temperate."  So said Shakespeare (whose birthday is today).  "But thy eternal summer shall not fade."  I don't know who he had in mind when he penned these lines but he wasn't holding back vocalizing his appreciation of her beauty and grace.  How often do we let beauty pass unremarked or denigrate it by looking for flaws to diminsh its value.  In a way, we are like the lunatics that deface great works of art.  They just can't stand the beauty of them.  Looking for flaws in beautiful women, or gifted athletes, or accomplished business people is actually defacing humanity.  Taking a sledgehammer to those that reflect in some way the perfection God intended for us at creation.  Let's follow Shakespeare's lead instead and not hold back in honoring the beauty and excellence of those who grace our lives. 
•  Life is like baseball.  Sometimes you get hit by a pitch.  There you are doing something you absolutely love.  Focused.  Ready to crush the ball and then, smack, right in the ribs.  The upside in baseball is that you get to take first base.  From there, you can steal a base or score on a double.  It's not as much fun as lashing a liner to left but it's better than lashing a liner to shortstop.  At least you're on base.  It's a success.  A painful success.  Painful events usually have an upside.  Train yourself to look for them.  As you're wincing in pain, tell yourself "I know this means I get to take a base.  What is it?"
•  Have far-fetched, childlike dreams. Growing up isn't a license to stop dreaming big. In fact, it's a better time to dream big because you can actually act on your dreams. You can't climb Mt. Everest when your six unless you can convince one of your parents to go along. As a grown up, you can do it all by yourself. But, if your only dream is getting home and watching "Leave it to Beaver" re-runs, you're missing out on the main advantage of being an adult. Now that you can act on your dreams, its' time to get serious about having some.
•  You've heard "there's no time like the present."  It's also true that there's no present like time.  What a gift each moment of life is.  It's like a slot machine steadily pumping out gold coins we get to spend however we want.  We can spend it on enriching our relationships, we can spend it on expanding our minds, we can spend it on appreciating beauty.  If you're not feeling fulfillment in your life, you can probably trace the problem to the spending choices you make with the time you are given.  The good news is that the machine keeps cranking out the gold coins.  Here comes one now!  Grab it and spend it on deciding how to spend the rest of the coins you'll get today. 
•   Being redeemed is not like possessing your own personal "Admit One Only" ticket to heaven.  If you treat it like a ticket, you'll spend all your time concentrating on trying not to lose it before the appointed time.  This is a self-absorbed exercise in fear.  Being redeemed is more like irrigating a draught-stricken land.  Life giving water saturates and transforms what it touches allowing the land to bloom and bear fruit until evaporation returns the water to the heavens.  Look for draught-stricken lives near you and bring them the transforming water of life.
•  "Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." (Rumi)  A friend sent me this quote yesterday.  I'm not sure how much I could get for my cleverness but spending the proceeds on bewilderment is a good trade.  Bewilderment is good to possess.  Certainty is dangerous.  If you're paying attention, as life goes on, what you know becomes less certain.  You open to the possibility that you've been wrong and this makes change possible.  Bewilderment is just the experience of life's wide array fo choices.  If you're never bewildered, you're probably stuck in a serious rut.
•  What's the most deadly animal in the world?  Which one poses the greatest threat to humans?  Are you ready for this?  The mosquito.  Yup, it kills and sickens the most people by far than any other animal in the world.  We tend to look for big, dramatic problems as the things keeping us from experiencing success.  Chances are its the mosquitos, the little, unnoticed ones that are sabotaging you.  Probably some dinky time-wasting, energy-wasting habits (watching too much TV, gossiping, worrying about things you can't control) are what's doing you in.  Take a look for the mosquitos that are plaguing you and start swatting!
•  It's raining.  An early morning rain is refreshing.  It cleans the air and washes away debris sending it to the gutter.  That's a good way to start the day.  Imagine your own mental rainshower cleaning out your thought processes and flushing your mental debris away leaving your mind clear to meet the challenges of the day.  Don't let yesterday's troubles interfere with today's opportunities.