FUN FIRST!

Daily Encouragement for Better Living

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DECEMBER, 2008

I try to approach everything with a positive attitude. This is a choice I made a number of years ago and it greatly improved my life. It works for most everything but there are exceptions. Like watching the Bears. I realized last night that I watch Bears' games with dread-- expecting things will always go badly and griping when they do. I don't really enjoy the games. It's stupid. I can't believe it took me so long to see I was still stuck in this old bad habit. Somehow I'd been oblivious to it. So, it's time for a change. I will now watch Bears games with a positive rather than negative attitude. I will not always expect the worst. If the Bears would be kind enough to score when they have the ball on the goal line and to not give up 99-yard touchdown passes, it would be a big assist to me in this new endeavor. How about a little help, eh?
I want to be beaten-up. Not in real life. [That would "really, really hurt."] In the movies. It's one of my life goals. Action movies always have at least one ugly, bald, thug the hero dispatches with a couple kicks and punches. I want to be that guy. I already have the look. I know enough about martial arts to look credible while being demolished. I think it would be fun. I have a whole list of life goals. You should too. Things you'd like to do-- big or small-- serious or not. Take a few minutes and write your own. Don't pre-edit. Just write down everything that pops into your head. You can edit it later. I'll give you some ideas what to do with the list at another time. The important thing now is to make the list. Encourage your kids to do so as well. It should be their list. Not your list for them. Living someone else's goals is not really living.
Well, I received some offers to be beaten-up on film but I think the offers were for a real beating and a phony filming and I was more interested in the other way around!! I'll just keep working on it. Today, take the Life Goals List you made yesterday (or read yesterday's email and make your list). Decide which goals you want to work on first. You're going to have longer term and shorter term goals and some are going to be simpler and others more complex. Pick a couple short term and a couple long term goals to start working on. You might want to sort all of your goals into long term, short term categories but at least do it for the few you've selected to start working on first. Tomorrow we'll look at what to do next.
Take a look at the goals you chose yesterday to start working on (if you missed the last couple days emails you can find them on the funfirstliving.com website). Decide what the first small step you want to take is in achieving that goal and do it. For example if you want to climb Mt. Everest, your first step could be do a web search to find companies that put together Mt. Everest expeditions. If you want to lose weight, you might start by deciding how much you want to lose (maybe do some jumping jacks while you're thinking about it!!). The idea is to make it a very small step that you can do pretty easily. That's today's assignment. Decide on and take one small step toward meeting one of your goals. How easy is that?
Now that you've made a Life Goals List, decided on which goals you want to start working on, and taken the time to decide on and take the first small step toward reaching them, it's time for the 5-step list. Make a list of the next 5 small steps you will take toward achieving your goals. Step 5 should always be to make a new 5 step list. Do one step per day. If you can't do a step in a day it's probably not small enough. Set your steps really, really small. As you get rolling, it will get easier. The idea is to make the steps easily achievable so you build momentum and can see yourself progressing. For example, if the life goals you are working on are writing a book and getting physically fit your first list might look like: 1) spend 5 minutes thinking of possible topics for a book; 2) spend 5 minutes visualizing what "fit" looks like for you; 3) think about whether to join a gym, hire a personal trainer, develop your own program, etc. 4) think about how much time you are going to devote each day or week to working on your book; 5) make a new 5 step list. As you progress your list might be: 1) write for 1/2 an hour; 2) do upper body weight lifting routine; 3) find source of info for ____ topic for book; 4) shop for food in my nutrition plan; 5) make a new 5 step list. Tailor your list to your current situation. It's very important to make the steps easy for you. Don't set them where you think you "should" be. Set them easy where you are.
Today is St. Nicholas Day. Before he got to be Santa Claus, St. Nicholas spent some time in the slammer courtesy of the Roman Empire. They thought he and the other followers of that Jesus character they'd crucified in Jerusalem 270 plus years before were a threat to the Empire. They were right. The whole unconditional love thing was eradicating fear and its hard to have much of an empire without fear. So, this Christmas season, be like Jolly Old St. Nick. Be a threat. Subvert fear with the love of God. If love becomes illegal, you want to be the most notorious offender. Get your picture in the Post Office.
"Fye vost way." The barrista said this to me as I left the coffee shop this morning. It was very upsetting. What did it mean? What language was it? It sounded kind of ominous. Like a prophet declaring the sins of a wayward people. "FYE VOST WAY." Maybe it's German for "you have lost your way." That could be it. Wow. What does she know about me that would make her say that? What am I doing to draw such a rebuke? Or maybe it's Latin for "time to join the fray." What does she think I'm holding back from? What important battle am I failing to join? This is depressing. Why does she have such a low opinion of me? I always leave a nice tip. I don't deserve this. Or, do I? I just don't know.--- Then it hit me. I had my stocking cap pulled down over my ears. She'd said "Have a nice day." I'd closed off my ears and it kept me from hearing her clearly. I heard something completely different than what she'd said. Remember this story the next time you're upset by what someone says to you. The problem might be on your end. Fye vost way!
When I was younger, I was involved in politics. I wanted to be the governor of Illinois. I changed my mind because I didn't like the retirement plan-- federal prison. That's not exactly true. I changed my career path before federal prosecution of the state's governors and ex-governors became commonplace. I simply realized I didn't have what it takes to be successful in politics. [In keeping with the positive tone of these emails I will not get into what it takes to be successful in politics.] The good news is I learned at age 20 I'd made a mistake getting into politics. I'm very grateful for this. Mistakes are a gift if you make them quickly and learn from them. In fact, with any new undertaking you want to accelerate your mistake making so you can get more quickly to the succeeding or moving on to something else part. Instead of being upset when you make a mistake say "thanks" and move on. If you spend all your time trying to justify your mistakes or pretending you didn't make them, or blaming them on someone else, you'll never get anywhere.
An effective life is like improv theatre. You decide how to play your character and interact with the other characters and settings that show up. Your lines are not written for you. Your fate is not predetermined. This may be a bit scary but not nearly as scary as letting someone else write your script. They could turn you into a zombie. Zombies never have a good day. Better to take initiative for your own life and not wait for someone else to tell you what to do.
Today is the 217th anniversary of the Bill fo Rights. The Bill of Rights (the first ten amendments to the Constitution) was designed to protect individuals and the states from an overreach of federal power. When it devised the Bill of Rights, the first Congress was playing out an 18th century precursor to the classic werewolf movie, where, as the full moon approaches, the tragic hero tries to restrain himself so he can't kill again. They'd seen the British werewolf in action and they tried to avoid a repeat by tying themselves down before the full moon. But, just like the movies, it didn't work. The werewolf was too strong. At least in the movies, the werewolf knew his worst impulses needed to be restrained. Do we? In the movies, there was always the silver bullet. No silver bullets for us. What we can do is practice personal responsibility and encourage others to do the same. It may not restrain the werewolf but it better enables us to avoid his worst impulses.
The Secret Service is now engaged in threat assessment for various FTBAPWDs (Foot-borne That Become Airborne Presidential Whacking Devices). The assessement spans the stealthy but relatively harmless ballet slipper, through the low-budget penny loafer, the high-tech basketball composite, and, the mother of all FTBAPWDs, the clown shoe. Having been shocked by the revelation that, despite years of forcing people to take off their shoes at airports, shoes are actually more dangerous when de-footed, the whole security apparatus is in an uproar and disarray. Because of the potency of the clown shoe, the draft Secret Service protocol barred the President from ever being in a room with a clown. Of course, they quickly realized this would prevent him from addressing a joint session of Congress and meeting with most members of his administration. I have been tasked with solving this crisis. Please send me your suggestions and I will pass them on to the President. Via email. They've forbidden me from being in the same room with him for some reason.
One of my dogs, Diego, is 9 years old. Not young for a Doberman. He's got some arthritis but he's maintained a puppy's approach to life. We got a lot of snow overnight. This morning he was out running through the snow, kicking up his heals, and jumping around like a kid. It's a nice reminder that being a "grown-up" is overrated. A bunch of snow may create problems for a "grown-up" but it creates opportunities if you take a more youthful approach. Puppies always have Fun First. We should do the same. It puts us in a better frame of mind to face the problems . . . or let them resolve themselves.
Today is the first day of winter. Starting tomorrow, the daylight hours start their slow crawl to overtake the hours of darkness. June seems a long way away but the journey begins today when it's darkest. It will be cold for quite awhile here in the midwest and we'll be too busy shivering to notice the growing daylight. But, it will be growing. Progress can be this way as well. We set a goal and we start taking the small steps to make it a reality. We may feel like we're not making any progress. Everything may still look dark and feel cold. But, the small steps are moving us to brighter days. If you're feeling stuck in the dark, take a few minutes and remember your goals. Jot them down (or consult your Life Goals List) and then pick one and think of some small step you can take to get you moving. Then, take it. You might as well. It's too cold to do anything else.
A six-pack. This term (derived, I assume, from the beverage carrier) applies to describe a person's well-developed and visibly-defined abdominal muscles. I know some people from the gym who have such six-packs. I too have a six-pack. An "Eskimo Six-Pack." I learned in grade school that the Eskimos used whale blubber for many purposes. The whales use it for insulation to keep their innards from freezing in the frigid Arctic waters. I'm sure the Eskimos use it as kind of an anti-freezer to keep their beverages from freezing. There's a shortage of whales here in the midwest so I had to improvise. I keep my six-pack encased in my own blubber. It's worked so far. My abs have not frozen. They always perform when asked. I can't see them but I know they're in there working for me. Your talents might not be obvious to you either but they're working under the surface to serve you. Take a moment to think about the things you do well. What talents are at work in you? Poke around and I'm sure you'll find some well-developed strengths you never realized you had. Just like my Eskimo Six-Pack (only less disgusting to think about).
One of the things that's interesting about sending out these emails is that I never know what kind of a response I'm going to get. For example, I thought yesterday's about the Eskimo Six-Pack was hilarious but I received but one response to it. The good news is that one of the basic principles of Fun First is "Amuse yourself first." And another is "Be easily amused." These two precepts have served me well. I recommend them to you especially during the holidays. Many people seem stressed by the prospect of being with their relatives. If they don't amuse you, maybe you should lower your standards to "easily amused." You know, place a bet with yourself about what time your most critical relative will criticize something about you. If you get it right, it'll be great fun to scream out "YES!" just as they've launched into their criticism. Take responsibility for your own amusement. It's too important to leave to anyone else.
Christmas is the celebration of God coming to us in a form we can recognize. Human form. One of us. God continues to appear in human form. He doesn't look like the artist's depiction of Jesus of Nazareth from 2000 years ago. He looks like the face you see in the mirror. The face countless people see everyday. The face with the mouth that speaks to them and the eyes that see them. What are they seeing? Is Christ happy to see them? Did Christ hear what they said? Did He notice the joy or the pain in their eyes? Did He smile at them? If you are a Christian, then you need to embrace the fact that the face in the mirror is the face of Christ. You can show them the baby in the manger, you can show them the man on the cross, but if you don't show them that you, the face of Christ-- right here, right now-- loves them, then they won't really know what Christmas is all about.
The Chronicles of Mark 2: Quest for the Stone . . . premiered tonight. The cast, director, and other notables walked the red carpet before the premiere. We were interviewed and photographed. When the film is available for general release on YouTube, I'll send you the link. I won't spoil it for you by revealing anything about the movie or the magical stone. My children made the movie for my Christmas present. I love to see them make movies. Tom is director, writer, camerman and actor. Lucy is actress, artist, and camerawoman. Both are passionate about their crafts. Encouraging the pursuit of dreams is central to my approach to life so it's very exciting for me to see my kids doing so. Nick and Teresa also get in on the movie act, even though their passions lie elsewhere. They help their siblings pursue their passion and get to mock their father in the process. I, of course, love being mocked so The Chronicles of Mark are a big hit with me. These movies are the perfect gift for me. My kids being creative and funny. What could be better than that?
Here is the link to the short prequel to The Chronicles of Mark 2: Quest for the Stone . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6Mt-KiJ84 The movie itself isn't up on YouTube yet but the prequel is worth seeing. Take a peek.
The Old year winds down. The new year beckons. It provides an opportunity for reflection and, more importantly, celebrating! Some people say: "Why celebrate the New Year? It's just another day." I agree with them, if they view each day as something to celebrate-- something precious and new-- a lavish present to enjoy. But, they probably don't. Anyone who says "just another day" is probably not doing much celebrating. If you are not celebrating every day, I heartily suggest you celebrate New Year's. The journey to happiness begins with a single party . . . or laugh. Speaking of laughs, here are the YouTube links to The Chronicles of Mark 2: Quest for the Stone . . . It's uploaded in two parts. Have a good laugh at my expense. Everyone else is!! Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At8PTqXt82g Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcwvbVJinKA
"Life is not a problem to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived." (John Eldredge, Wild at Heart) The difference? Fun. An adventure is fun. It might be dangerous. It might be scary. But the underlying attitude you take on an adventure is "this is going to be fun!" A problem doesn't sound like fun. It sounds tedious. [Unless of course you love math. In that case a problem is an adventure but I digress.] When you hit the deck in the morning, put on the adventurer's mindset. What fun awaits? What new people will you meet? How will you make your interaction with the usual people new and different? How can you shake things up a bit? Tell yourself "this is going to be fun" and then make it so.
Well? How was it? The year, I mean. If you measure it by the value of your stock portfolio, it was probably terrible. Hey, if you knew that much of your money was going to go up in smoke, wouldn't you have found more fun ways to burn it? I prefer the laugh measure to the stock index measure. I had a great year. I don't know if I actually laughed more this year than last year but I certainly laughed a lot. [It helps having kids who make movies mocking me. Those films drew the heartiest laughs from me this year.] My friend index was also up this year. I met some new friends and developed those. My longstanding friendships grew in value as well. My beautiful woman index hit an all time high this year. The beautiful women in my life are quite amazing. Particularly, the three I live with. [That's one wife and two daughters, in case you were wondering.] Not everything was rosy. My living parent index suffered a 100% loss. That made for some dark days but the strength of my other indices allowed me to weather being wiped out in that department. I hope the important indices in your life were up for the year as well. As the New Year rings in, I'm expecting next year to be even better. I hope you do the same. Happy New Year!