FUN FIRST!

Torching the Gasoline for Explosive Success

MONTHS

2009

January

2008

2007

2006

SEPTEMBER, 2008

Thanks to the alert readers who pointed out that "Who I am hates who I've been" is by Reliant K not Switchfoot. It's always fun when I screw something up but it was particularly good yesterday when I closed with "Especially at how stupid I still am." I think I proved my point quite well, eh? It's good to be a laughingstock (the world needs a laugh) but even better to be a constant source of amusement to yourself. If you can laugh at your own mistakes, you'll never run out material.[My website host has been having problems so this is a day late]
Yesterday, was a milestone for me. It marked the point where I'd now been married longer than I'd been single. A good day to reflect on my good fortune for sure. I like to keep track of quirky kinds of holidays like this.[I've celebrated the days some of my friends were exactly half my age for example] I'm always looking for an excuse to celebrate. Every day you can still draw a breath is a good day to celebrate. You don't need to fabricate holidays like I do. But it is kind of fun.
While waiting for the massage therapist to enter the room, I heard this odd noise. I figured it was something amiss in the air conditioning system. Kind of a gurggling sound. When she walked in she asked : "Can you hear that sound? It's the guy in the office next door snoring." He kept it up the whole time I was there. The therapist and I were both laughing pretty hard throughout. You don't normally hear sustained snoring at a place of business. I wonder if he has small children and just rented the office as a place to escape and sleep undisturbed. The great thing about snoring is that you don't know you're doing it. You're oblivious to the fact you are annoying (or in this case entertaining) anyone else. This can be true of our waking actions as well. If you're brave, ask your friends or co-workers if you do anything that makes them laugh at you behind your back. You can then try to do more of it. You could also ask if you annoy them in any way. But then, you might have to change. This might not be quite so much fun.
Shortly after I started practicing law one of the local judges died. The chief judge held a special court call to reassign the deceased's cases. I was sent to see where one of my firm's cases would be reassigned. When I entered the court room, one of my many bosses was also there. He ran over to me, told me to appear on his case as well, told me the case number, said "we represent all contractors" and ran out of the room. When that case was called, a dozen lawyers stood up each saying he represented a different contractor. I thought, "Hmm. We obviously don't represent all the contractors, I wonder who my client is." When it was my turn to speak I cleverly tried to skate by saying "I represent one of the defendants." "Which one?" asked the judge. "I don't know, judge." Everyone was quite amused that I had no idea who my client was.[How do you bill an unknown client?] Turns out my client's name was "All Contractors, Inc." I could have asked for clarification when my boss gave me the task. Things would have gone more smoothly . . . but it would have lost all its entertainment value.
When someone tells you their dream, don't tell them why it won't work. Encourage them to pursue it. It may work. It may lead them to a different dream that works. The pursuit of the dream will improve them no matter what. I've tried to apply this in raising and educating my children. God has given them their lives to live and equipped them with talents and desires of their own. My job is to foster those talents and desires and to stay out of the way of their accomplishing their dreams. I don't want to make them into clones of me. One of me is enough.
At my first high school reunion, I saw Dave and asked the typical "what are you doing these days?" question. He went off on why does everybody ask about work and there's more to life than work, etc. etc. Memo to self: "Don't ask Dave about work." Five years later. Next reunion. I see Dave and he says to me "Where you working these days?" Five years makes a big difference. Either Dave changed his whole life philosophy or he was a lot happier with his employment situation at reunion number 2. People aren't always consistent. So much depends on how they feel at a given time. That's why it usually takes a while to get a grasp of someone's basic character. You need to have enough experience with them to sort through seemingly contradictory words and actions to get to the core.
This morning I saw many small children cheerfully heading into school. I also saw a number of teenagers in passing cars who looked like they were on their way to their execution. Why the difference? The little kids still see it as an adventure. Life is more fun when you see it as an adventure. "Been There. Done That" is not an attitude that brings much joy. If you're not expecting anything new to happen, you turn into a zombie, and nothing new ever happens for zombies. It's always the same gory tale. Look for adventure today. Try to explore something new. Go someplace different for lunch. Talk with someone new. Talk about something new with someone familiar. Don't be a zombie. It always ends badly for them.
A conversation last night reminded me of something I wrote in March of 2007. Here it is: Love is like being a piece of chocolate cake. Sitting on the plate, you hold the promise of satisfying someone's need (yes, chocolate is a need!!) but you're job's not done till you're gone. Bit by bit you cease being a chocolate cake and become a pleasurable taste, then a full-feeling in the belly, and then a part of the person, no longer recognizable as chocolate cake. Love involves similar self-dissolution. If you're still fully intact, you're probably not loving very effectively.
I was blissfully tooling along cutting the grass on a beautful morning thinking how perfect everything was when "thud!" I hit something and the mower blade shuddered to a stop. I had some how managed to hit a small stump which lay unseen but unfortunately not unfelt in the grass. The mower no longer worked and I had lost my excuse for goofing off outside. A cruel blow indeed. Such is life. Sometimes you get stopped by something hiding in the weeds. The trick is knowing what to do next. Realizing that with my lack of mechanical skill I had a better chance of growing hair than fixing the mower, I called someone who could fix the mower and headed on to something else. No use wasting time lamenting things didn't go as planned. Just move on to something else. But wait. If I'd done my lamenting outside, would it have been almost as good as goofing off? Maybe I "moved on" a little too quickly.
Just finished a letter of recommendation for a friend who is applying to be a firefighter. It was fun. Thinking about all the wonderful things about her and writing them down really perked me up. It's an uplifting thing to do. Here's a suggestion: write a letter of recommendation for your spouse, family members, friends. Not to send to anyone but to keep for your own reference. You'll be energized by thinking about each of these people in a positive way and making a record of it you can refer back to. You could always give the person a copy as well to let them know the positive things you see in them. Try it out.
New Zealand's national airline is hiring bald guys to use their heads as billboards. I've been trying to capitalize on all that vacant space on the outside of my head for a long time. [The vacant space on the inside of my head is more vast but even harder to make a buck off of.] I actually had the human billboard idea quite a while ago but never took the necessary action to find clients who'd want their message on my noggin. The greatest idea is useless without action. Maybe if it catches on in New Zealand I can ride a trend to success here in the States. You don't have to be a trailblazer to be successful. You just need to be sharp enough to recognize a good thing when you see it and act on it. What do you think? Who should I go after as potential advertisers?
"Classical music reminds us of the beauty we can create." I heard this on the radio this morning. It's true. God created countless beautiful things. He also made us to create beauty ourselves. To be made in God's image is to be made creative. Music, painting, sculpture, design, dance, writing, photography are some ways we create beauty. They are all reminders that we have the power to create in our own right. It is a gift of being human. We all have it. What's your? What beauty are you called to create?
I have a friend who is student-teaching 2nd grade. In order to keep things interesting she sometimes has her students stand up and recite their spelling words in their "manly voice". Imagine a bunch of 7-year olds using deep voices and wearing serious faces spelling "kite". Other times she has them use their "tiny voice". This is a great way to beat monotony. In your job, you probably can't use your manly voice without being sent for psychiatric evaluation but you can imagine yourself using your manly voice. You'll just have to practice keeping a straight face when you do it. There are an unlimited number of things you can do mentally to stay entertained throughout the day. Just pretend you're a 7-year old and the time will fly by.
I wrote this after a colossal stock market drop last year. Figured it was appropraite after yesterday's market plunge:Yesterday's precipitous market drop reminded me of a trading seminar I once attended. A bunch of the attendees were sitting together at lunch time talking about various trades they'd made. Some trades were profitable some weren't. Everyone was engrossed in the conversation. Just for fun I injected: "The good thing is . . . it's only money." Dead silence. Then the conversation resumed as if I hadn't spoken. Money is a vehicle not a destination. If you're trying to get to the top of a hill, having a vehicle might help. A car might get you there faster than a unicycle, which might be faster than walking. But, if you take the car, you might miss seeing things on the way up and not learn anything about the hill. You'd see and learn a lot more by walking. And, if the hill is steep enough or muddy, the car will never get you to the top. Don't spend your life pursuing the "right" vehicle and fail to start up the hill.
Today is the U.S. Constitution's 221st birthday. It's not as catchy as the Declaration of Independence. Fomenting revolution wasn't on the agenda anymore. In the Constitution they were trying "to secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity." We are their posterity and its good for us to reflect on how well we're doing with the blessings of liberty they sought to secure for us. Are you making the most of your personal liberty? History teaches that governments can restrain personal liberty to the point of extinction. That's bad. But its even worse when a person refuses to embrace the freedom they have because they don't want to accept the responsibility of making their own choices. Expecting someone else (government, spouse, other people generally) to make your life better leads to constant disappointment. The more control you give to someone else over your happiness the less happy you're going to be.
There are banners hanging in the downtown area of my hometown promoting local businesses. The theme of this camapign is "Live It Up Downtown." Each banner says "Live It Up Downtown" followed by the name of a different downtown business. I just saw one that said: "Live It Up Downtown-- John C. Smith Mortuary." Sometimes it's best not to follow the crowd. Just because something is good for everybody else doesn't mean it will be good for you. It's important to evaluate whether something is consistent with your goals before diving in. There's a certain dissonance between "Live It Up" and a mortuary. Unless, of course, you're Irish.
The host for my website had some problems so my site hasn't been working for awhile. I was going to tell you yesterday to enjoy the last full day of summer. Now you're down to just a couple hours. You might not be able to get outside and soak up the last few rays of summer but you can take a few moments to reflect on the pleasures of the summer that is passing. As the equinox, the time of balanced day and night arrives, you might also ask yourself the question: why be balanced? Day and night are only balanced twice a year. Being balanced is the exception not the rule. Maybe I should be more unbalanced? Maybe I should have more fun and take myself less seriously. Maybe I should be more generous and less worried about what I'm getting. Today, on nature's day of balance, resolve to be unbalanced.
I broke my massage therapist. I don't know if it was my fat head or my stiff neck but I broke her. Her thumb was very swollen. Actually, I'm embellishing the story a bit (imagine that!). She was actually injured before I got there. I suggested it would be a good idea if we passed on the massage and she went home and took care of her sore hand. "I've had three babies naturally," she said. "This pain is nothing." I didn't have a response to that. "Ok. You win." When a woman pulls out the "I survived labor I can survive this " argument, you know the discussion is over. She's going to do what she's decided to do no matter how bad it hurts her. All you can do is look for the first aid kit.
All the fretting about "Financial Armageddon" has buried New Yorker's real tragedy: the Yankees. After 13 consecutive years (it seems so much longer) the Yankees will not be in baseball's post-season. The other NY team, the Mets, is working on missing the playoffs as well having descended into a tie with the Milwaukee Brewers for a National League playoff spot with but four games left to go. On the Southside of Chicago they're sweating whether the White Sox can hold off the Twins to make it into the American League playoffs. On the Northside, they're sweating because the Cubs are in the playoffs, have probably the best team in baseball and ought to get to and win the World Series. There's no fear quite like the fear of knowing you're the best and dreading you won't live up to it. I love baseball. Being a fan is like exercise for your emotions. You get to work them out every day. It gets you ready. Bad news from Wall Street won't faze New Yorkers. The bad news from the Bronx has them prepared to survive anything.
A guy was serving as a Marine in Vietnam. He received a cake in the mail from his mom. The tradition was everbody in the platoon would get a piece of the cake. Each piece was therefore pretty small. The cake had travelled from the States and had waited for him to return from patrol. The cake was not fresh. No cake ever was. They headed back to the jungle. He was carrying the cake. They had to cross a swollen river with a fast current. He was walking with the cake held over his head-- water up to his armpits. He was packing a lot of gear. He stepped in a hole, started falling. His head went under. He had a flash of fear that he might drown. Then he felt a hand grab him and pull him up. "Don't get the cake wet [expletive-expletive.]" It was the guy behind him. Why was a skinny piece of stale cake important to him? The cake was a sign of love and that made it valuable to a bunch of guys a long way from the people who loved them. Even the smallest sign of love is valuable. It's never too stale.
I received a response from a Marine to yesterday's email about the Marine and the cake. He said the story could not be true based on his own experieince receiving baked goods. "A real Marine's buddies would all mock him for being a momma's boy and the stale, moldy cake would either be thrown away or used for a practical joke, like putting it in the captain's personal locker." I must admit this sounds a lot more like any of the Marines I've ever known. It's no reason not to send the cake though. A good mocking and practical joke have a lot of entertainment value to all concerned. When you offer up a sign of love, there's no guarantee it'll be received the way you intended. That doesn't mean it won't be valuable. If you're bothered by not getting the response you wanted, it wasn't really love that was motivating you anyway.
My dad died this morning. I'm not up to eulogizing him at the moment. I don't want to spend all that time crying just yet. I was wondering though if his arrival in heaven might be the balance tipper. With the large number of Cub fans that must be living in heavenly glory after these 100 years, you'd think at some point God would succumb to their pleadings, abandon His nonintervention in sports policy, and give them a World Series win. Maybe my dad will be the difference-maker. On another note, my dad requested to be buried with his ratty old blue sweater. My mom, who predeceased him, hated the sweater, with all its holes. On the last day, when God raises up our bodies, my dad wants to be wearing it so he can get "the look" one more time from my mom.