FUN FIRST!

MONTHS

2010

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September

2009

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November
• December

2008

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November
• December

2007

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November
• December

2006

• October
• November
• December

JUNE, 2008

•  My dad is 87 today.  Born into the Roaring Twenties, grew up in the Great Depression and fought in the Second World War.  Many years ago he told me about the "good old days."  He was very emphatic that the "good old days" were not that good.  He wanted me to know that life was much better in the present, with  medical, sanitation, and technological innovations, making life much more enjoyable now than back then.  Glorifying the past was a mistake.  Anybody who said the "good old days" were better was wrong.  I appreciated this lesson and have tried to focus on the present.  Learning from but not glorifying the past.  Now, at age 87, Dad has switched his focus from the present to the future.  His present isn't so much fun for him anymore with it's various physical maladies.  He's looking to the everlasting reunion with my mom and all his friends and loved ones who have already passed on.  I don't want him to go but I don't want him to have to stay either.  It's tough to know what to think.  I could ask him for advice on how to think about this but might just get the answer he's given me in the past on other questions: "How should I know?  You're the one who went to college!"  Today, I think I'll take the selfish approach.  Happy birthday Dad!  Hope to celebrate your birthday with you again next year.  I love you!
•  Thought it was time to run this again for the new folks. Wrote this for a young woman awhile back using the thoroughbred as an image for a woman.   Head Strong? Temperamental?A challenge to control?A man who has these foolish thoughtsKnows not–  the passions of her soul. This thoroughbred’s built for gloryShe’s the pinnacle of Grace.Every inch of her a wonder.Of flaws, you’ll find no trace. A man who wants to break herWould destroy her sweet perfection.Conformance to his puny will– A grotesque abomination. This horse should be a horse.Not a docile pet to man.She should live her full potential.Run her race.  Not fit his plan. A man could maybe break her.And a pretty pet she’d be.But a thoroughbred in a stable’sLike a ship without the sea. If he wants to find true pleasureWith this filly bold and strong,He must drop the whip and bridle– See it’s to herself that she belongs. A carrot and a sugar cubeA soft look in those bright eyes.A whispered word: “I love you!Run your heart out. You’re my pride!” “I love to see you run my dearWhether toward me or away.To know you’re running for yourselfIs all I hope and pray.”
•  For whatever reason, the email version of the poem I sent out today contained many bizarre symbols.  It appears fine on the website version.  Please go to funfirstliving.com and you can read it on the home page without needing a secret decoder ring.
•  One day, when I was 8 or 9 years old, I was standing still in the playroom of our house talking to my mother and sister [I was always talking!] when I somehow managed to fall down.  Plop. My mother and my sister quickly ran to make sure I was alright. . . . Uh, right.  Of course they didn't.  They started laughing hysterically in utter amazement that I could trip over thin air while not even moving.  They told my brother and my dad when they came home and everybody started laughing.  They told their friends.  They told my friends.  If we'd had a video recorder they would have made me re-enact the fall.  The family hasn't stopped laughing about it yet.  My baby sister wasn't even born when it happened and she can tell the story.  My mother's been dead for 20 years but I'm sure she's still telling the story to every new friend she makes in heaven. "Look down there. Yup. That's him."  I don't remember if I thought it was funny at the time.  I certainly think it's funny now.  It's an example of one of my fundamental beliefs about enjoying your life.  When you do something stupid, you ought to laugh at yourself.  Everyone else will be.  Why miss out on the fun?   
•  I'm going to the Art Institute of Chicago soon.  It's a great art museum filled with many beautiful works.  I went to their website in preparation for the trip and saw an article titled: "Where Did Van Gogh Go?"  This did not bode well.  Turns out much of the Impressionist collection and many other works I usually go to see are on loan to another museum or temporarily stored away while the Art Institute does some renovations.  At first this disappointed me.  I really look forward to seeing these works.  But then, I realized it was an opportunity to get to know some other works I don't usually make time for.  It's good to break from the familiar sometimes.  Experience new people, places and things.  Chances are you'll find you really love some of your new discoveries.  Even if you don't, at least you'll have enhanced your appreciation of the familiar.  Be adventurous.  Take the effort to meet or do something new today.  Don't be like me and the museum and wait till you don't have a choice.
•  Ronald Reagan (this is the anniversary of his death) once said: "The great thing about having Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people everyday."  That's making the best of having a terrible disease.  It's a good example of not taking yourself too seriously.  He could have complained that it wasn't fair.  Instead, he joked about it.  I'm sure this attitude helped him weather the inevitable loss of his faculties. 
•  This date in 1944 marked the beginning of the end for the Nazis.  Allied forces landed in France and began the steady march that would lead to German surrender in less than a year.   Hitler proclaimed an empire that was to last a thousand years.  It came up about 995 years short.  Its bad to make egomaniacal predictions about the future.  They never come true.  A lot of people died because of this quest for empire.  People who bought into the plan.  People who opposed it.  People who were targeted for extinction.  People who just happened to be in the way.  Plans to conform the world to your will always end badly.  The would be controller dies in disgrace with nothing to show for it but the misery he created.    
• I went to the Art Institute in Chicago the other day.  So many fantastic paintings.  Painting is a lot like life.  If you don't like something about the way a painting is progressing, you can paint over it and try something else.  You aren't stuck with every brush stroke you make.  You can paint and repaint and keep changing it until you're satisfied.  If you're not happy with some aspect of your life you're not stuck with it.  Pull out the brushes and make a masterpiece.
•  One of my favorite quotes is from former Major League Baseball pitcher Orel Hershiser: "They pay the guys with the bats too."  He was trying to explain to reporters how the fact he'd just lost a game didn't mean he hadn't pitched well.  Sometimes you can pitch badly and still win because even though your pitches didn't do what they were supposed to the hitters only hit them to your fielders.  Other times you can throw exactly the pitches you want but the hitters will find a way to hit them to open spots on the field anyway.  Over time, if you consistently throw good pitches you are going to be more successful than not.  But, that doesn't mean you'll succeed every time.  Good hitters can hit even the best pitches sometimes.  It's important not to let a bad result get to you.  You can't control the result.  You can only control your actions.  If you continue to perfect your skills, good results will outweigh the bad ones. 
•  Abraham Lincoln said: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time."  What he didn't say is the person we're best at fooling is ourselves.  We can get in a rut and tell ourselves we can't get out.  We convince ourselves that the it is is the only way it can ever be.  If we're honest, we have to recognize that change is only a choice away.  We may not be able to avoid fooling ourselves completely but at least we can move into the "some of the time" category.  If we pay attention to our thoughts, we ought to be able to catch ourselves so we don't stay fooled for very long.  
•  Mowing the lawn is a nice mindless task.  The roar of the mower drowns out the outside world leaving my mind free to wander.  It's like a mini-vacation.  Look for little breaks like mowing the lawn to refresh yourself and see where your mind will take you.
•  I was asked to describe how I start my day having fun.  I set the alarm for earlier than I have to get up.  When it goes off, I roll over and hold onto my wife and think about how happy I am to have her and my children and all the other people in my life.  After a couple resets of the "snooze" I get up. [Getting up is not fun and I will not pretend that it is.]  Talking with people at the coffee shop, writing this daily email, writing a letter, card, or email to a friend, and listening to some good music usually bring me to the start of my workday. [The chocolate shop doesn't open until 10 if you're wondering why it's not on the list!]  That's how I start the day having fun.  People provide the most joy to me so most of my fun is focused on interacting with them.  The trick is to always do something you enjoy first thing.  You need to make it a habit.  Life looks a lot better when you start the day with something you love. 
•  You might say "Mark, it's great you find so much joy in other people but frankly I don't like people that much.  They're mostly a big disappointment to me.  I find them a source of pain not joy."  It may surprise you but for a long time I never really liked people either.  I spent a lot of time being critical.  I thought life would be so much better if people would just change.  Eventually, I realized this approach was making me unhappy and that, like the weather, people are what they are.  No amount of whining was going to change them.  I just had to adapt.  So, I decided I wasn't going to let what was wrong with other people bother me.  I did two things to accomplish this: 1) realized I was responsible for my own happiness and didn't need anyone to act in any particular way to make me happy; 2) quit thinking about what was wrong with people and started looking for what was good about them instead.  It worked.  It took some effort to catch my old thought patterns and change them but in a short period of time I'd become a happy person. 
•  I saw a guy this morning taking a picture of his rose trellis.  The roses were in bloom and it was quite beautiful.  He obviously was proud of his handiwork and wanted to capture it in picture for himself or maybe to share with others.  It's good to pause and enjoy your accomplishments.  Too often we let our successes pass without savoring them while obsessively analyzing the things that didn't go they way we wanted.  It's a bad habit.  Take a moment and think of some snapshots to put in your photo album of sucesses.
•    If you want to improve any aspect of your life, the place to start is being grateful for what you've got.  After all, what you've got (intellect, creativity, strength, courage) is your base camp on the way to the summit of success.  Look at your strengths and be thankful for them.  Believe in them.  When you're confident in and appreciate what you've got, you are equipped to push on.  You know that your strengths are available to draw on when you need them.  If you don't keep them in the forefront of your mind, you might doubt them or forget about them at a crucial time.  Practicing gratitude for what you've got each day will accelerate your rate of success.   
•  The Boston Celtics crushed the L.A. Lakers last night to win the NBA Championship.  Last year the Celtics won 24 games (meaning they lost 58).  They were terrible.  They acquried some new players in the offseason and a whole new focus.  They concentrated on playing defense.  The Lakers have Kobe Bryant who everyone "knows" is the greatest basketball player in the world.  The Celtics defense made him look pretty average.  I like defense.  It requires hard work, technique, practice and discipline.  It goes unnoticed by most people.  People laud the player who scores a lot of points.  But, there's no stat (and no recognition) for guarding a guy so he can't get the ball, or preventing him from getting off a decent shot if he does get the ball, or for any of the other things that go into playing defense.  Defense separates true basketball players from glory-seekers.  Life is that way too.  Don't overvalue the glory-seekers and fail to see the people who are actualy doing the hard work that creates success.
•  Light is invigorating.  I was in Alaska in June once and needed sunglasses at 10pm.  It was wonderful to have nonstop daylight.  I could easily get addicted.  It's not so dramatic here in the lower 48 but it's still energizing to have the sun up for long stretches of time.  As the summer solstice approaches, set yourself up to make the most of the daylight.  It's a passing gift that needs to be enjoyed now.
•  What are your greatest successes?  The things that gave you the most satisfaction?  Why were they satisfying?  What do you want your next great success to be?  Answering these questions will help you focus on what's most important to you and keep you moving toward accomplishing the most important things.
•  "One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating." (Luciano Pavarotti) True. So true.  The good thing about eating is we have to do it.  We'd pass out eventually if we didn't.  Spiritual, mental, and emotional nourishment are equally necessary.  They just aren't as insistent.  They don't have the hammer of physical collapse to pound us with if we ignore them.  The ill effects of ignoring them take longer to develop than starvation.  Here's an idea.  Next time you feed your face feed one of the other needs as well.  Pray. Converse pleasantly (no griping or complaining) with a friend or family. Read something inspirational. Listen to some uplifting music.  If you develop the habit of feeding these needs while you feed your body, you'll be healthier all around.
•  I went outside to think but am ovecome by the beautiful morning.  Sunny, clear, warm, gentle breeze, birds singing, flowers blooming.  It's perfect.  "Thinking" is getting whipped by "enjoying".  Guess I'll just give up.  The beauty of Creation is more than I can resist even if I wanted to . . . and, I don't.
•  My wife bought me a nice watch a few months back for no particular occasion. [My friend Jammie says it's because I'm a trophy husband.  Who am I to argue?!!]  She bought the watch from a very good friend of mine who's in the jewelry business.  When I look at the watch, I often pause to think about my wife or my friend or both.  If you saw me looking at the watch, you might draw some incorrect conclusions about what I was thinking.  A watch is for telling time.  My gazing at it might lead you to think I was preoccupied with how much time I had to get somewhere, or how long something was taking, or whether it was lunchtime yet, when, in fact, the time had nothing to do with why I was looking at my watch.  Be open to the possibility your first impression might be wrong.  Don't overcommit to an assumption before you've given it some time to play out.  And, don't ask me what time it is unless you're willing to wait awhile for the answer.
•  I had the chance to talk with artist Jessy Grose and look at some of her paintings.  She describes them as whimsical and fun.  It's great when your life's work, your passion, is creating fun.  Jessy's paintings are bright and made me want to go outside and play.  They are a window to a world of endless childhood summers.  A place where you can't take yourself too seriously.  Her work is joy flowing from a brush.  Art can be very lifegiving if we allow ourselves to stop long enough to take it in.
•  They say unless you're the lead dog, the scenery never changes.  Maybe sled dogs are stuck with a less than appealing view but we can unhitch ourselves and get another perspective.  It might be as simple as walking on a different side of the street or sitting in a different seat at the table.  It might be talking to people you usually don't talk to or taking a vacation to a new place or heading out with no particular destination and seeing where you end up.  Changing the scenery gives you a chance to see and hear new things or old things from a different angle.  This can jump start your creativity.  Give it a try.  Deviate today.
•  Lif has its problems.  When we're fearful, the problem is all we see.  We're stuck.  When we get beyond fear, we can see ways to improve our situation.  The trick is to stop thinking about how stuck you are and start thinking about what you can do not what you should have done.
•  "Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart.  All you need is lots more stuff." (VeggieTales-- "Madame Blueberry")  This is a line the Stuff Mart salesmen sing to Madame Blueberry in a VeggieTales cartoon to induce her to buy more stuff from the Stuff Mart.  Eventually, all her acquired stuff weighs down the treehouse she lives in causing it to collapse to the ground in a pile of rubble.  If you're an American, the Stuff Mart salesmen are probably singing sweetly in your subconscious telling you your problems will be solved with this or that piece of new stuff.  We need a new tune.  Stuff can be very useful but it doesn't create real happiness.  Often, stuff is just a distraction from the things that can be bring happiness: relationships, gratitude, giving of ourselves.  Next time you find yourself "needing" something new, try turning the tables and seeing if you can give something away instead.  It'll probably be a lot more satisfying.   
•  Dancing is fun.  People should probably take ballroom dancing or tango lessons before they get married.  It's good practice.  When you lead in dance, you need to have a clear idea what you are going to do before you do it and you need to clearly signal to your partner what the next step is going to be.  If you don't do these two things, the dance doesn't work too well.  A common plan and communication about the next step in achieving it makes any relationship better.  Take some dance lessons and see what I mean.