FUN FIRST!

Torching the Gasoline for Explosive Success

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2009

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APRIL, 2008

Life is like baseball. It doesn't matter how hard you get hit as long as you hold onto the ball. The collision at the plate is a great baseball tradition. The catcher has the ball and blocks the plate to tag the runner out. The runner realizes he can't evade the catcher so he's out unless he can knock the ball from the catcher's hand. Instead of sliding to evade he plows hard into the catcher hoping to pop the ball loose. When the collision happens, the catcher may stand firm and not budge or he may go flying. It doesn't matter. He just has to hold onto the ball. That's his top priority. If he's focused on not getting knock down, he may succeed at that but fail at his primary objective. When you are pursuing your dreams, you are going to get plowed into at the plate. People will try to dissuade you and they may not be very nice about it. Don't let your focus shift to them or what they may do to you. Concentrate on holding onto the ball. You might get hurt. You might get knocked off your spot. You might be sent tumbling head over heals. As long as you don't drop the ball, you win.
You can stand in one spot at the Grand Canyon all day and see something different every few minutes because of the passage of the sun. The colors will change. Rock formations will come into view and then awhile later disappear. It’s a fascinating process. Life’s the same way. Look for the beauty to reveal itself in each passing moment. If you're looking for it, you'll be amazed at how much you see.
You can stand in one spot at the Grand Canyon all day and see something different every few minutes because of the passage of the sun. The colors will change. Rock formations will come into view and then awhile later disappear. It’s a fascinating process. Life’s the same way. Look for the beauty to reveal itself in each passing moment. If you're looking for it, you'll be amazed at how much you see.
Life is like baseball. Sometimes you get rained out. You're ready to move ahead with something. You've made all the preparations, you've got everything in place and kaboom, something comes out of the blue and stops the process. Somebody gets sick. The package doesn't arrive. What can you do? Baseball players in a rainout go into the clubhouse and try to stay sharp. Take some swings in the batting cage. Stretch to stay loose. The rain's going to stop sometime and you need to be ready. It can be tough when you're up for something and it falls through. You just have to keep your edge and be ready when the delay is over.
What do you think about when you first awaken in the morning? This is important because it sets the course your day will follow. You want to be pointed in the right direction. Toward your favorite ski slope not toward the fifty foot cliff. I start by thinking of what I'm thankful for. This starts things off positively and is a great excuse for staying in bed. ["I'd get up but I'm too busy thanking God for my blessings so I have to stay here for awhile. It has nothing to do with being lazy." Who can argue with that?] This helps make the day something to look forward to. All those "thankful" things are waiting for you. You can see there's fun ahead. If you wake up dreading what you have to do, you're setting yourself up for a rotten day and, worst of all, you won't even enjoy staying in bed thinking about it.
Spent time yesterday doing my tax returns. It's an odd process. Kind of like being robbed and then having the robber ask you questions about your family and finances and then give you back some of what he took based on your answers. ["How long have you owned this watch? Only 11 months? Too bad. If you'd owned it over a year, I would have given you back one of those fives I took from your wallet. How old are your kids? Wow, this just isn't your day. If they were under 17 on December 31st of last year, I would have given you back the change I took from your left pocket. Did you drive here? How far? Five miles? Ok, I'll give you 5 cents a mile. Here's one of your quarters back."] When it's over you feel grateful for anything you got back even though it was yours to start with. You think, "Hey, that could have been a lot worse." And what is the positive point I am trying to make? That was it. It could have been a lot worse. Sometimes that's all you get.
The bookstore has a huge selection of self-help books. Diet books. Exercise books. Relationship books. How to get rich books. If you really want to act to improve your life, you can probably find a book or two in a half hour that will give you a plan to follow that will work for you. You can be a rich, thin, muscular, happily married individual relatively quickly if you follow the plan. That's the hard part. Following the plan. It requires actually wanting to change and being willing to actually do something different. For a lot of people, buying another book is just an excuse not to act. They tell themselves the next book may have the answer. It probably does. Just like the last book did. The answer is get off your butt and do something. Some plans may work better than other plans. You can refine your plan as you see what works best for you. But all plans work just the same if you don't follow them. Not at all.
"She's pregnant. She can't have that!" So said the receptionist as she received a delivery of chocolate for a co-worker. The non-pregnant receptionist was ready to redirect the chocolate to herself in an act of selfless generosity to protect her co-worker! It was funny. We can be quick to protect people when they don't need protecting. Like discouraging them from taking a risk or pursuing a dream. But pursuing a seemingly impossible dream and taking a risk can teach you a lot about yourself whether you reach your dream or not. And, of course, even the most impossible sounding dream may be attainable. Better to encourage people and let them discover themselves whether what they seek is possible.
A friend is having surgery today. He said last night that a guy he knew who'd had the same surgery before told him that laughing is extremely painful after the operation. Uh oh. We've been friends for a long time and every conversation involves a lot of laughing. When I visit him, how do I keep from making him laugh? Just seeing me there trying not to make him laugh will probably make him laugh. I don't do "serious" very well. Never thought it would matter. Guess I'll have to practice today and try it out when I see him tonight. That should be a hoot.
My aunt lived in Portland, Oregon. She said it was easy to predict the weather there. If you could see Mt. Hood, it meant it was going to rain. If you couldn't see Mt. Hood, then it was raining already. Sometimes life can have an always raining kind of feel to it. The same dreary thing everyday. But, unlike the weather, you can control your life. If you're in a rut, it's because you haven't made the effort to climb out. Destiny hasn't locked you in. Your choices put you there and your choices will get you out. It's time to make some new choices.
Got a response to yesterday's email from a friend who lived in Portland. CJ is the guest writer of today's email. Here it is: "I moved to Portland in December 1997. It starts drizzling most everyday sometime in Oct./Nov. and continues until Apr./May, usually. Completely sunny days in between those are rare. But here's the thing. The cloud cover is thin. Often, you can see a small patch of blue sky through a hole in the clouds. That makes it a "blue sky day." If you counted the consecutive days where you didn't see the sun, you'd get depressed. If you delight in blue sky days, you can thrive." Look for the things that help you thrive.
Thomas Jefferson (his birthday's today) said: "I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man." Our minds are amazing creations. Made for freedom and creativity. Unfortunately, we can let a lot of tyrants rule them and crush that freeedom and creativity. Fear, self-doubt, and self-absorbtion are a common trio of tyrants. Any one of them will oppress your mind and keep you from enjoying the life you were created to live. Let's join Jefferson in vowing to overthrow these tyrants. They have no legitimate authority over your life.
Are you whole or do you have holes? Gaps in your character that make you incomplete? Maybe you're not completely honest. Maybe you avoid things you find difficult. Ask yourself what holes you need to fill. Don't spend any time beating yourself up for these deficiencies (that's a hole in your character itself). Just decide to begin the process of change and get after it. You won't be perfect at the start but don't be discouraged (another hole). Enjoy the victories and let them fuel greater ones.
Leonardo Da Vinci's birthday today. One of the best examples of the greatness humans can attain. Da Vinci had a broad range of interests and pursued them with zeal. He was dedicated to learning new things and developing new ways to do things. I doubt he was ever bored. The world fascinated him and he loved to observe and ponder the things around him. Curiosity is the spark of invention. Don't stifle it. The greatest minds never lose their childlike curiosity.
It's a beautiful day but the dogs want to come in. They're scratching at the door. Why? This is the nicest weather we've had in 5 months. They went out and 30 seconds later they want back in. Habit? After the winter, maybe they're just used to trying to get in out of the cold as soon as possible. The habit is so ingrained that they haven't noticed it's warm and sunny. How about you? Are you living out of habit? Maybe it's time to take a fresh look. Things might be better than you think.
Listened to a sales pitch last night. It was a "free" consultation on making money. It started with the salesman asking what I thought the purpose of his call was. I said "I assume you are going to try to sell me something." He said he wasn't. It's mystifying to me that he would start a presentation designed to convince me to spend a significant sum of money to take advice from his team of experts by lying to me about what he was going to do. Why would I ever trust him or his organization? What else is he going to be lying to me about? Lying isn't nearly as successful as liars think it is. Don't get sucked into believing it'll work for you.
I was reminded of a story from the news a few years back. A youth baseball game was in the last inning. Two outs. One more and it was over. The trailing team's best hitter was due up. The next batter in the lineup was the weakest hitter. The opposing coach had the best hitter intentionally walked so they could face the weak hitter to try to get the last out. Standard baseball procedure. But this move caused huge controversy because the weak hitter was a kid with serious medical problems including having a tube in his head to drain off fluid. The kid struck out and his team lost. People were outraged that the opposing coach would take advantage of this kid's weakness just to win a game. I'm not going to discuss the controversy. What I think is important is the kid. When they asked him what he thought of them walking the other guy to pitch to him he replied "I need to practice and get better so they don't want to pitch to me either." I love this kid. He knew the truth. He was a baseball player not some fragile figurine that needed to be protected. The solution to his problem was in his control. He had to get better. It makes sense really. The kid had a hole drilled in his head. He hadn't let that keep him from playing baseball and living his life. He just had to get better and live. It was the same with hitting. Just a different challenge. He was simply going to overcome it.
A friend of mine is getting married today. Weddings are always a great time. Filled with joy and hope. The trick is keeping that joy and hope alive. Back on my anniversary I came up with my 5 Lessons from 25 years of marriage. This seems like a good time to rerun them. 1) You can't "fix" someone else no matter how much you want to or how hard you try; 2) If you "fix" yourself, the other person will get better; 3) Love is the absence of selfishness; 4) Every act of kindness is big no matter how small it looks ; 5) Laugh at everything especially yourself. Taking yourself seriously isn't the road to unhappiness. It is unhappiness.
I don't worry about looking foolish anymore. [After years of practice, I'm confident that I can look foolish most of the time without really trying. Therefore, I no longer have to worry about it. It's become second nature.] I went to a friend's wedding yesterday. She emigrated to the U.S. from Thailand when she was a young child. The wedding and reception were a mix of America and Southeast Asia. It was a lot of fun. When I was younger I wouldn't have attempted the Southeast Asian dancing because I didn't know what I was doing and would have been embarassed by displaying my ignorance. Now, I just plunge in and have a good time. Life is much more enjoyable this way. There are two points that might help you do the same: 1) It doesn't really matter what other people think of you; 2) Other people aren't thinking of you anyway.
Make a point of giving someone a genuine compliment today. Find something you admire about them and tell them. Once you get started you might get on a roll and start complimenting everybody you see. Co-workers, friends, strangers. Maybe even the members of your own family.
It was a beautful day yesterday. Sunny and warm. I really enjoyed the time I spent outside. It's interesting to me that some people can't just accept the gift a of a beautful day. If you comment on it to them, they say "yes but . . ." Yes, but it's going to rain on Friday, or it's going to get colder tomorrow, or before long it's going to be too hot and humid. Why do they have to condition today's beauty with the expectation something ugly is coming tomorrow? If today's weather was bad, would these same people say "but it's going to be warm and sunny tomorrow?" Probably not. Some people are just locked into seeing things negatively. What fun is that?
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." So said Shakespeare (whose birthday is today). "But thy eternal summer shall not fade." I don't know who he had in mind when he penned these lines but he wasn't holding back vocalizing his appreciation of her beauty and grace. How often do we let beauty pass unremarked or denigrate it by looking for flaws to diminsh its value. In a way, we are like the lunatics that deface great works of art. They just can't stand the beauty of them. Looking for flaws in beautiful women, or gifted athletes, or accomplished business people is actually defacing humanity. Taking a sledgehammer to those that reflect in some way the perfection God intended for us at creation. Let's follow Shakespeare's lead instead and not hold back in honoring the beauty and excellence of those who grace our lives.
I like birthdays. Not just mine but everybody's. Its a good opportunity to celebrate the joy a person brings to your life and the things about them that are outstanding. And, of course, its a great excuse for a party! You can use a birthday to tell a person what you appreciate about them and how they make your life better. Once you get started you can even start doing it on un-birthdays (which are also great excuses for a party!)
We have two dogs, Andrea and Diego. Dobermans. Big dogs. Andrea is dominant and won't let Diego eat when she's around. The food belongs to her. So, Diego has developed a plan. He acts like he wants to go outside. When we open the door, Andrea runs out first [She's dominant, remember]. Diego stops. He's hoping we will close the door with Andrea on the outside and him on the inside, alone, with the food. If the door closes, he digs in. It's not a bad plan. If he were human, Diego might gripe about the unfairness or try to get Andrea to change her actions toward him and the food. Since he's a dog, he just decided to adapt to reality and make the best of it. This is a dog trick we humans might want to learn.
It's a very windy day. Outside my office window two guys with rakes and plastic garbage bags are attempting to pick up litter out of the flowerbeds surrounding a parking deck. The bags are being blown so hard they are standing straight out just like the flag I see in the background. It's nearly impossible for the guys to control the bags enough to put the trash in them. This isn't that big a problem though because the trash is blowing across the ground so fast they can't catch it anyway. Why not wait for a calmer day? Timing is important. Are you trying to accomplish something but the elements are against you? Just because you want to do something today doesn't mean today is the best day to do it. Your task will be more likely to succeed under better conditions in the future. Maybe you should stop and do something more suited to the current conditions. Today, you might want to fly a kite.
What's the best thing about your best friend? [or anybody else for that matter] This is a fun game to play. Take someone you know and start thinking about all the things that are good about them. Kind. Strong. Smart. Funny. Beautiful Voice. Solid Right-Cross. Whatever. Just pick a person and go through everything you can think of about them that's good. Then, try to decide which one thing is the best. It's fun. It doesn't really matter if you can pick a "best" or not. The pleasure's in the search. Do this for a different person everyday and see how much happier it makes you.
Yesterday was Easter in the Orthodox churches. We celebrated with some Greek Orthodox friends. It's nice to have a second opportunity to celebrate the Resurrection. Especially when the celebration includes many delicious foods with names I can't pronounce. For Christians, everyday is really Easter. A chance to celebrate our freedom and redemption.
If the e-mail solicitations I receive are any indication, happiness must come from gambling on line, while wearing a phony designer watch, under the influence of questionably obtained prescription medicines, after undergoing certain anatomical modifications. Having never tried any of these, I guess I can't say for sure they won't bring happiness but it seems pretty unlikely. I've met a lot of people, with lots of stuff, and hobbies, and addictions, and physical attractiveness. None of it seems to make any difference. Happiness comes from something else. Having a shiny, bald head. Oh. Wait. No. It comes from giving to others and being grateful for what you've got. Generosity and gratitude are the causes of happiness. But, if you dont' believe me, you can buy my Fun First! Headshaver of Happiness for just $39.95. Hurry while supplies last! Oops. Too late.
George Washington took the oath of office as the first president of the United States on this date in 1789. He certainly couldn't have imagined what the next two centuries would make of the tiny republic he was about to lead. In 1790, the gross domestic product of the United States was about $190 million. So far the 2008 presidential candidates have raised about $792 million to spend trying to get George's old job. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about the significance of those numbers. My point is the future is unknowable. However, we tend to develop opinions about what is going to happen. If we get too attached to these opinions (and most of us are very attached to our opinions), we can fail to adapt to changing circumstances because we don't want to admit we were wrong to hold the opinion we've been holding for so long. Being wrong is ok as long as you can admit it and move on. You're not wearing that leisure suit you bought in 1977 anymore are you? Maybe you've got some leisure suits in your thinking as well.