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DECEMBER, 2007

•  Angel, one of our cats, has been helping me at the computer.  She has been walking on the keyboard, sitting on the keyboard, standing in front of the screen, and rubbing up against my hands as I try to type.  I'm sure it's all well-intentioned.  It's just not very helpful.  In fact, it is most unhelpful.  I'm sure if I thought about it I'd remember a number of people I've given some well-intentioned non-help to.  Oh well.  Guess I'll just try to avoid giving cat-like help in the future.
•  Something's coming.  Christians begin celebrating the Advent season today.  A time to look with anticipation for the arrival of Christ at Christmas.  Christmas is the celebration of God coming to dwell with us.  God visible in human form.  We believe God continues living in us today.  The question is: "Can people see God in us today?"  Tha Advent season is short.  23 days.  Can't keep people waiting too long for the big event.  How long are you going to make people wait to see Christ in you?  Better make it quick.    
•  Phony watches.  I get a large number of unsolicited emails trying to sell me a watch that looks like an expensive watch but isn't.  Why would I want one?  It would be like walking around with a lie strapped to my wrist.  It's a sure sign that I want to fool you about something.  Wouldn't you wonder what other lies I might be telling you?    It's important to be genuine in all aspects of your life if you want to have any real credibility.
•  I don't like bowling.  Too frustrating.  The pins all stand there in the same place every time.  They take no evasive action.  It should be simple to knock them all down.  But, it's not.  Getting beat at a sport by another person is unpleasant but I can tolerate it.  Losing to inanimate objects like bowling pins is just too much for me.  I admire people who have fun bowling.  They're able to enjoy the challenge and accept less than perfection as success.  This is good.  I can do this in most aspects of life which I know yields few 300 games.  But, I'm just not there with bowling.
•  I saw a cartoon in the Wall Street Journal some years back.  There was a fish alone in a fishbowl.  The fish said: "I'm so bored.  I wish I hadn't eaten the others."  Poor fish.  I'm sure eating the others seemed like a good idea at the time.  When you're alone you don't have to share, accommodate, or make room for anybody else.  This has a lot of appeal. When you're surrounded by people, they can be pretty annoying.  Solitude can be very refreshing . . . for awhile.  But, we are communal creatures.  It's a rare person who's called to be a hermit.  We need to find the right mix for ourselves between solitude and interaction.  I find a day of solitude every couple months is good for me.  It helps me re-energize and re-focus on what's important to me and helps me appreciate all the people who aren't there when I'm alone.  What's the right mix for you?  Test it out and see.
•  Happy St. Nicholas Day!  Before he got to be Santa Claus, St. Nicholas spent some time in the slammer courtesy of the Roman Empire. They thought he and the other followers of that guy they'd crucified in Jerusalem 270 plus years before were a threat to the Empire. They were right. The whole unconditional love thing was eradicating fear and its hard to have much of an empire without fear. So, this Christmas season, be like Jolly Old St. Nick. Be a threat. Subvert fear with the love of God. 
•  Time to review some basic Fun First! principles.  Fun First! is simply applying "Eat Dessert First" to the rest of your life.  Start everyday with what you love and make fun a priority throughout the day.  Always be looking for ways to have more fun.
•  Today's Fun First! review topic is the two steps to success: 1) Start. 2) Don't Quit.  The fear of starting and the desire to quit after you start derail most people most of the time.  It's natural to feel these things.  Act in spite of those feelings.  Start. Don't Quit.  Pretty simple.
•  Gratitude is the foundation of happiness and success.  Be grateful for everything no matter how small.  Develop a habit of gratitude and you will grow happier, more confident, and more successful.
•  How you feel emotionally flows from your thoughts.  Positive thoughts breed positive feelings and negative thoughts breed negative feelings.  If you want to feel better the first step is to change your thinking.  This is why starting the day thinking about what you are grateful for is important.  These positive thoughts set the emotional tone for the day.
•  "Just a minute."  What's your reaction when you read those words?  How you react is the result of your experience with people using the phrase.  For example, if your dad said "just a minute" when you asked him to do something with you but he actually never came back and did it your reaction is going to be different than if he came back to you and did what you asked in a few minutes.  Or maybe in your experience "just a minute" always preceded "no" as in "Mom may I go to the park." "You wait just a minute you haven't washed the dishes!"  Our experience handicaps us in communicating with others since they are speaking from their experience (where "just a minute" means "soon") and we are hearing from ours (where "just a minute" means "never").  It's important when you have a negative reaction to something someone says to stop and realize that they may not have meant it the way you received it.  Your communication will improve tremendously when you don't let your past hurts derail it. 
•  Do you take yourself seriously?  Does it matter to you what other people think of you?  Are you troubled by the idea that someone else might not respect you?  If you answered "yes" to these questions, chances are other people think you're a jerk.  Generally, the more you want to get other people living in a way that satisfies your ego, the less they are going to want to do anything for you.  You might get some phony signs of respect thrown your way but the genuine thing is not likely to be there.  We can't make other people respect us.  All we can do is try to be worthy of respect and let the chips fall where they may.  If you're obsessed with being respected, it's unlikely you'll act in a way that makes you respectable.  Having and showing genuine respect for others is a good place to start being respectable. 
•  I take a nutritional supplement.  I discovered this language on the package: "Results may vary:  the appearance of the models on the packaging is not guaranteed for consumers of this product."  Whoa!  You mean drinking this stuff isn't going to make me look like the big, chiseled-muscled guy with the full head of hair lifting weights on the box?  You know, I never expected to look like the beautiful woman on the box but I figured looking like the guy was going to be a no-brainer!!  Alas, such is life.  If I want to look like the guy on the box, I can probably get close (except for the hair) but I'm going to have to do a lot more than run the blender and drink its contents.  There are no "one drink" solutions in life.  Whatever your goal, you're going to have to work diligently at it and not give up.  Looking for the magic potion to get you there isn't going to work.  
•  Psychologist Howard Gardner identified 7 types of intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal.  Traditional schooling only deals with the first two.  Based on my experience in school I thought I was a genius.  In real life, however, I made a disturbing discovery: real life is not a continuing game of Trivial Pursuit.  Reading and remembering, at which I excelled, isn't all that important once you get out of school.  Actually being able to do something is what counts.  Those other types of intelligence come in handy when it comes to doing something.  I recommend doing a web search for "seven types intelligence" and reading the characteristics of each.  Then assess yourself  (your kids?) for them.  This is particularly important for people who aren't "school successes". You'll discover you are intelligent even if you can't name all the U.S. presidents in order. [Anybody who is strong in the bodily-kinesthetic or spatial areas please email me your number so I can call the next time I have to drive a nail straight or assemble something from a kit!!] 
•  Today is the anniversary of the U.S. Bill of Rights.  The Bill of Rights was adopted to assure the citizens and the states that the federal government would not engage in the types of actions the British had engaged in prior to the Revolution.  I'm not going to get into how well that worked out.  Instead, I'm suggesting you develop a personal bill of rights.  Make a list of the things you are not going to let oppress you any more.  Negative thoughts, what someone else says about you, how you think someone else treats you, etc.  Decide today not to let those things rule you anymore.  Say to yourself, "Hey, I got rights."
•  "Tis the season for goal setting.  Time to make a "Life Goals List". The idea is to think of anything you want to do in your life and write it down.  Big.  Small.  Whatever.  Sit down with a piece of paper and let your imagination run.  Don't filter your ideas by judging them impossible or too hard.  Just write down anything you think you'd like to do.  Climb a mountain, run a marathon, learn to sing, reach a certain level of fitness, write a novel, write a song, travel to China, whatever strikes your fancy.  Be open.  Take some time and do it today or set a time you are going to do it and stick to it.  We'll discuss what to do after you make the list later.  Just make the list.  If you've already got a list, take a look at it and add things you hadn't thought of before. 
•  Take the Life Goals List you made yesterday (or read yesterday's email and make your list).  Decide which goals you want to work on first.  You're going to have longer term and shorter term goals and some are going to be simpler and others more complex.  Pick a couple short term and a couple long term goals to start working on.  You might want to sort all of your goals into long term, short term categories but at least do it for the few you've selected to start working on first.
•  Take a look at the goals you chose yesterday to start working on (if you missed the last couple days emails you can find them on the funfirstliving.com website).  Decide what the first small step you want to take is in achieving that goal and do it.  For example if you want to climb Mt. Everest, your first step could be do a web search to find companies that put together Mt. Everest expeditions.  If you want to lose weight, you might start by deciding how much you want to lose (maybe do some jumping jacks while you're thinking about it!!).  The idea is to make it a very small step that you can do pretty easily.  That's today's assignment.  Decide on and take one small step toward meeting one of your goals.  How easy is that? 
•  Now that you've made a Life Goals List, decided on which goals you want to start working on, and taken the time to decide on and take the first small step toward reaching them, it's time for the 5-step list.  Make a list of the next 5 small steps you will take toward achieving your goals.  Step 5 should always be to make a new 5 step list.  Do one step per day.  If you can't do a step in a day it's probably not small enough.  Set your steps really, really small.  As you get rolling, it will get easier.  The idea is to make the steps easily achievable so you build momentum and can see yourself progressing.  For example, if the life goals you are working on are writing a book and getting physically fit your first list might look like: 1) spend 5 minutes thinking of possible topics for a book; 2) spend 5 minutes visualizing what "fit" looks like for you; 3) think about whether to join a gym, hire a personal trainer, develop your own program, etc. 4) think about how much time you are going to devote each day or week to working on your book; 5) make a new 5 step list.  As you progress your list might be: 1) write for 1/2 an hour; 2) do upper body weight lifting routine; 3) find source of info for ____ topic for book; 4) shop for food in my nutrition plan; 5) make a new 5 step list.  Tailor your list to your current situation.  It's very important to make the steps easy for you.  Don't set them where you think you "should" be.  Set them easy where you are. 
•  "When you are younger, you worry about what people think about you.  When you are older, you realize that no one was ever thinking about you at all." (Brian Tracy)  True.  So true.  It's a very liberating day when you finally figure this out.  I must confess I still sometimes catch myself thinking "What is that person thinking about me that made them not respond positively to what I did?" [Maybe this means I'm still "younger"!!]  Then I remember that they probably aren't thinking about me at all.  They have a hundred things going on in their own minds and I'm just not one of them.  You can do the most good for others once you quit hoping they notice how much good you're doing for them. 
•  I was interviewed on the local television news last night by Alice Barr of WIFR TV about homeschooling.  She did a good job in a short segment capturing what motivates people (like our family) to homeschool and what it's like to live in a homeschool household.  We've homeschooled for so many years that I forget it seems unusual to many other people and that they are unfamiliar with the in's and out's of it.  It's important to remember the more familiar you are with something the more you need to concentrate on communicating clearly about it.  Knowing everything there is to know about something doesn't do anything for anybody else unless you can communicate what you know effectively to them.  This requires paying attention to them and asking questions in a non-threatening way to make sure they are receiving what you are sending.
•   Decided to do a re-run of one of my favorites.  Might help with any pre-holiday stress you might be experiencing.  I've seen some not so happy faces out there this week. What could you do to make your life more fun right now?  If your first thought was "strangle my boss" or "play chicken with a freight train", you may be suffering from "Poor, Poor Pitiful Me Syndrome".  PPPMS can strike anyone at anytime and can be either acute ("Why didn't she say 'Hi' to me") or chronic ("I hate Monday because I have to go to work. . . . I hate the weekend because I don't have anything to do.")  PPPMS has a simple cure: Stop thinking you are the center of the universe and start thinking about somebody else (and I don't mean thinking about how much better they have it than you!!)  Start by thinking what you could do to make the next person you see smile or laugh.  This ought to make you smile in and of itself.
•  I received a wonderful Christmas gift yesterday.  It's a large coffee mug (which is great in itself!), filled with chocolate (could it get any better?) that the giver has personalized for me by writing nice things about me on it.  Kind words are always good but this is particularly nice because they are permanently affixed to the mug where I can always look at them and be uplifted and remember what a great gift friendship is.  Telling sombody what they mean to you and how they have blessed your life may be the best gift you can give them (especially when accompanied by chocolate!)
•  Watch a young child on Christmas Eve and you can learn a lot.  Excitement about what's coming next.  Kids know how to be excited without embarassment.  If you can take a kid's Christmas Eve perspective into your everyday life, you'll have a lot more fun.  Life presents us with a continuing stream of new presents to open.  We can be excited about what's coming or we can fret about the fact some assembly may be required.  It's up to you.  Merry Christmas! 
•  Christmas celebrates God coming to live with us.  The Incarnation.  God taking on human flesh in Jesus the son of Mary.  This mystery continues in us.  God living in the world in us.  If people are going to find God, they are going to find Him in us.  We are Christmas every day.  Our lives a celebration of God's dwelling in us to redeem creation.
•  Today is Boxing Day in England and some other places in its former empire.  Besides being an extra holiday, it's the traditional day for giving gifts to the people who serve you every day.  Take the chance today to thank the people who take care of you (almost invisibly) each day: letter carrier, grocery clerk, waitress, all those people working the "After Christmas Sales".  Let them know you appreciate their presence and attention to your needs.
•  "Complaining is volunteering."  This is one of my basic rules of living.  If you don't like the way something is, don't complain about it unless you're willing to invest your self in improving it.  If you can take the time to be displeased, you should also take the time to contemplate what you can do to make it better.  Griping about the fact that "they" have screwed it up and ought to fix it just doesn't cut it.
•  As I entered a deserted exercise room at the gym last night another man appeared suddenly out of nowhere.  "Where'd that old guy come from?" was my first thought.  My second thought was more distressing.  "It's me."  I'd seen my reflection in a mirror!!  This was a priceless experience.  I'm sure it says something about the accuracy of snap judgments versus judgments you've had time to rationalize or something about self image.  Mostly, I just think it's hilarious!
•  What's your purpose?  Why are you here?  The end of the year is a good time to think about you and what makes you unique (actually it's always good to think about this; year-end is just an excuse to do it now).  We each have something to offer the world that it can't get as well from  most anyone else.  Take an honest look at yourself.  What is it you've got to give?  Is your life set-up to allow you to give it?  What do you need to change to enable you to live your purpose fully?  Don't cheat yourself and the rest of us.  Live your purpose.
•  Been giving some thought to selecting my favorite emails of the past year.  This one, I wrote for some friends on their wedding day, is one of my favorites: Attending a wedding today.  The bride is a priceless treasure.  A woman of exceptional talent and unmatched beauty.  The groom now begins his stewardship of that treasure.  Seeking a treasure is one thing.  Possessing it is another matter.  A man can hide it away for fear someone will take it.  He can seclude it so it gives no pleasure to anyone but himself.  He can choose to treat it like its nothing special and misuse it (like a Rembrandt for a doormat) or forget its value and neglect it till it fades, corrodes, or rots.  If he's wise, he will treat this treasure like a curator treats a masterpiece.  His every action designed to enhance the gift that's come into his hands.  Preserve it.  Let others be moved and enriched by its beauty while protecting it from things that may damage it.  Devote himself to learning all he can about the treasure and its care.  Know that it is of immeasurable value in and of itself and not really his possession at all.  
•  It's New Year's Eve.  Are you celebrating the year you had?  Are you looking forward to a better year in 2008?  Whether it seemed like a good year or a bad year there were certainly many things to be grateful for in 2007.  Spend some time remembering them.