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Torching the Gasoline for Explosive Success

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NOVEMBER, 2007

Today is All Saints' Day. A day to celebrate those who have gone before us. Those who accepted the grace of God and ran with it. While none of us were around to know Francis of Assisi, we all know plenty of saints. A relative, a friend, an acquaintance who brought the love of God to life. Take a moment to think about the saints you've known and be thankful for the opportunity. Now, how about the person in the mirror? A saint?
I once came upon a train stopped on the tracks. Being something of a train buff at the time I got out of my car and walked over by the train. I heard a voice say "Don't do it. They're watching." I was approached by an older man who then gave me advice on how and when to hop on a freight train. I remember sitting with him on the platform or a step of the "Lincoln Depot," in Springfield, Illinois (which may be a refurbished tourist site now, I'm not sure, but it wasn't then). He told me a lot about riding the rails. I've forgotten the technique he taught for hopping a train and most everything else he told me as well (if you don't use something you've learned you quickly forget it and I never hopped a freight). I do remember him saying that it's best to hop a train carrying automobiles. He said: "They leave the keys in 'em so you can use the heat or air conditioning. You just lie there on the seat and listen to the radio with your wine and your smokes. Mmm!" Sounded kind of appealing. Of course, having forgotten the essential information about how to get on the train, I'll never get the chance to enjoy the finer points of the ride. No matter how much you know about Step B you've got to know and implement Step A to get there.
There was a beautiful kiss of frost shimmering on the golf course as I drove by this morning. A sight in sharp contrast with my appearance on a golf course which has often been described as "not pretty." How can something that appears so serene be the cause of so much frustration? Can beauty really cause such pain? No, it can't. The golf course is not the problem. I am the problem. The course merely reveals my inadequacy and it's the inadequacy that frustrates me. External forces cannot upset us. Only we can allow ourselves to be upset. When something troubles us, it's a sign something in us needs to change.
If you were to ask the jockeys who rode the all-time greatest race horses (Secretariat, Seattle Slew, Cigar, John Henry, etc.) their strategies for riding those horses chances are they'd tell you: "Don't fall off." They know that a horse of that caliber knows what to do, knows how to do it, and will do it on its own without any help from the jockey. If you hang on, conform yourself to the movement of the horse, and let the horse do its thing, you ride to glory. This is Christianity in a nutshell.
"What the __ is that!" These are not the words you want to hear the security guard who is screening your briefcase utter, while pointing at his screen, as you are trying to enter the county courthouse. My first thought was that I'd somehow ended up with one of my sons' toy guns and I wondered what the sentence was for that. As I looked at the screen, I didn't see a gun but a nice row of slender, evenly spaced, vertical rods, which reminded me (and apparently the security guard) of blasting caps used to detonate explosives. (When I was a kid they used to run public service ads on TV with Willie Mays telling us not to touch blasting caps if we ever found them. That's why I know what they look like.) I was momentarily panicked. Then, I realized what we were seeing. "Pens." I opened the case to reveal four pens neatly standing in the pen holder the briefcase designer had innocently included for my convenience. Why am I telling you this story (besides the fact I think its funny which is the real reason I'm telling you)? The guard was looking for threats. He had a specific mindset to see things in a certain way. I let his mindset affect mine. When I looked at the screen, I saw blasting caps even though I'd put the pens there myself. Its very easy to see something negatively when someone else has done so to start with. We need to work hard to avoid being infected by others' negative perceptions.
There's a great lesson (I think it's in the book Getting to Yes) concerning the importance of communication. Two sisters are arguing over who gets the last orange. Finally, after much wrangling, they cut it in half. One sister throws away the peel and eats her half of the orange. The other sister, peels her half, keeps the peel for some cooking project and throws away the fruit. They both could have had what they wanted had they focused on communicating rather than arguing. Instead they both ended up with less. State clearly what you want. Listen carefully for what the other person wants. It can solve a lot of problems.
Yesterday, no leaves from the magnolia in our front yard were on the ground. This morning half of them must have fallen. Come on guys! How about a little individuality? Resist the draw of the mob. Following the crowd only leads to the mulcher.
Art in Concert. One of you sent me a YouTube clip of Michael Israel creating a painting, in front of a live audience, with musical accompaniment, in under 7 minutes. It's a brilliant display of talent and emotion and the concept (painting "in concert") is genius. (Wonder if people would pay to watch me write? Wonder if I could pay people to watch me write? Probably not. Those visual artists get all the breaks!) I'm in awe. There is no limit to where talent, hard work, and creativity can take you. We humans are amazing creatures.
"The busy man is never wise and the wise man is never busy," so says philosopher Lin Yu Tang. In the U.S., we're addicted to "busy". We treat "busy" as a virtue. Like it's the opposite of the dreaded vice "lazy". We complain about being "too busy" but we don't mean it. What we really mean is "I don't feel like I'm doing everything I need to do." Why do we feel like we need to do so much? We've abandoned wisdom. Wisdom requires thinking and choosing what's best to do. We're afraid we'll make the wrong choice. We're afraid we'll disappoint someone or be criticized for not doing something so we try to do everything. Be wise not busy. Decide what's important and forget the rest. [No, it's not ALL important no matter what you might believe at the moment.]
"It's another grand and glorious day in the service of God, Country, and Corps where every day's a holiday and every meal's a feast." Marines. Gotta love 'em. Happy birthday USMC.
November 11th, 1918 marked the cessation of hostilities (the Armistice) in the First World War. A holiday was created to commemorate this event: the end of the "war to end all wars." Unfortunately, that didn't work out so well and the 20th century provided many more opportunities to make veterans. The name of the holiday was changed and it was rededicated to a rememberance for all who have served in the armed forces. As we remember those who served, let's pray for the day we no longer have any veterans to honor.
"You never tire of looking at a masterpiece. You can go back to it countless times and each time see something new. This is the excitement of loving art." (Ray Neuberger, The Passionate Collector) It's also true that you can go back to it and see the same thing and be moved by it again and again. It's the same with loving people. Each encounter is a mix of seeing new things and enjoying the familiar. How about you? Are you excited about seeing new things and appreciative of the familiar in the "masterpieces" in your life? Are you taking the time to actually look at them with a loving eye? It's particularly important with the ones you've got the most invested in. If you don't, what's the pleasure in that?
Sometimes you just have to do the "rope-a-dope." Muhammad Ali, the great boxer, coined the phrase to describe his strategy in a fight with George Foreman. It essentially involved leaning back against the ropes, covering up so he didn't take too much damage, and letting Foreman tire himself out punching Ali. I'm doing the "rope-a-dope" right now. I learned late last night that a friend of mine killed himself. The grief is beating on me pretty hard at the moment. In a few rounds, I should be able to do something but at the moment I'm just trying to cover up and withstand the onslaught. I know this works. I've done it before. But it hurts every time.
The "assist" is a beautiful thing. In basketball you get credited with an assist when you pass to someone who then scores (hockey counts assists as well). It often involves drawing defenders to yourself to free a teammate for the open shot and then passing it to the open player. Assists make scoring easy. Looking for ways to help others succeed is a sure path to personal success. Just ask Steve Nash (NBA) or Wayne Gretsky (Hockey Hall of Famer). Their mastery of the assist made them superstars. Start looking right now for chances to assist others to success. [Thanks to everybody who provided me with assists yesterday in dealing with the loss of my friend. It made a tremendous difference to me and I'm very grateful.]
I received an email photo of a little boy kneeling by his bed in prayer. Next to him is his dog. Front paws on the bed, eyes closed, fervently in prayer as well by all appearances. My dogs don't do this. They pray in the kitchen. "Dear God please let him drop that piece of meat. Please, please, please let him drop that piece of meat." You can see it their faces. They are always ready. They are undeterred by the fact no meat has dropped recently. Dogs only know hope. Someday it will fall. They're right. It always does. Eventually. And the dogs will be there when it does. Dogs never give up hope.
As I sit in the morning waiting for the light to change, I watch the expressions on the faces of the passing drivers. Grim. Vacant. Occasionally happy. The women have spent some energy on their hair and makeup. The guys? Shave? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Combed hair? Maybe yes. Maybe no. Wonder how many of the drivers have put any energy into their attitude for the day? From the looks of them, not too many. Attitude is going to have a lot more impact on you than your hair. Best to spend some time in the morning getting it right. [Ok. Go ahead and say it: "Mark, what could you possibly know about hair?"]
Revolution: a fundamental complete change. Do you need a personal revolution? Are you the unwilling subject of an oppressive tyrant? Have you surrendered your personal freedom to an oppressive negative belief about yourself? Revolt! Liberty begins now. Decide to be free and you will be free.
What's your calling? It's something you feel a strong desire to accomplish. It's something you excel or know you could excel at. It's something that gives you pleasure and satisfaction but also does something for others. (I thought mine was eating chocolate chip cookies but that doesn't do much for anybody else except maybe the Nestle company!). If you think for a little bit, you'll get an inkling of what it is. It may be something you can make a living at. It may not. But, you still need to find a way to do it. Chances are it's gnawing on your insides trying to get out. Stop and take some time to think about your calling. Finding it and living it are keys to living a fulfilled life.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here."(Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, Nov. 19,1863) Lincoln was wrong. The dead of Gettysburg are long forgotten by all but the most devoted students of the era but his speech is remembered by millions. While "actions speak louder than words" is a common truism, words are very powerful in their own right. You may never have said anything that millions remember but you've probably said something that's stuck with one person forever. The next thing you say may be such a thing. Make sure its remembered because it changed someone's life for the better.
At a friend's birthday party, people were honoring him for his many talents and good character traits. One guy talked about the man's extraordinary ability to build things, renovate buildings, repair anything. He said he was a real "man's man." At this point my wife leaned over to me and asked "What does that make you?" We both started laughing because any one of the things that my good friend can do so amazingly well I couldn't begin to do no matter how much time you gave me. My mechanical ineptitude is legendary. For a long time, my lack of mechanical ability bothered me. Eventually, I realized I was looking at it the wrong way. Instead of looking at the things I couldn't do I started focusing on the things I could do pretty well and working at getting better at them. I quit wishing I had somebody else's talents and began being grateful for the ones I had and realizing I'd been given those to use. The things that come easy to us are probably the things we should be putting our energy into so we excel at them. It's with these that we'll bring the most benefit to the world and ourselves. [By the way, when I quit laughing I told my wife that obviously I was a "ladies' man." Then she really started laughing!! Hmm.]
Kids can make a game of anything. [I used to try to run around the outside of the house before the little black dot on the revolving disk that spun inside the electric meter measuring electric usage made one revolution. Today, I'd have to uplug all the appliances. "Why's the ice cream melted?" "Dad unplugged the freezer and then went outside and started running around the house. I didn't ask why. I didn't want to know."] Kids know that life is supposed to be fun so they find opportunities for it everywhere. The happiest and most creative people never lose that ability. Challenge yourself to make a game of something you need to do today. Guess how many lights will be green or red on your drive home. Guess how many phone calls you'll get in the next hour. Guess who the next person to show up and whine at you will be. Just make a game of something.
Happy Thanksgiving! Giving thanks should be as natural as breathing. Everything we have we owe in some way to someone else and ultimately to God. Develop an attitude of thankfulness and the habit of thanking people for everything. As you grow in this, you'll grow in joy. Thanks to all of you who read these daily offerings. Thanks for the encouragment and thoughts you share with me. Thanks for forwarding them to others and for leading others to subscribe. I'm very grateful.
Watched the movie Apocalypto last night. The hero, Jaguar Paw, has been taken captive by the Mayan's, has escaped, and is running (with his former captors in hot pursuit) to get back to rescue his wife and child from the pit he hid them in when their village was attacked. He jumps over a high waterfall and survives and yells up at his pursuers (just before darting into the forest) that "This is my forest" and challenges them to follow. They do. When several survive the jump from the top of the waterfall, he looks scared again and begins running. He wasn't quite as confident as he'd let on when he challenged them. After falling into a quicksand-like mess and getting out of it without panicking, he gets up to run again, stops and says to himself: "I am Jaguar Paw. This is my forest and I am not afraid." This time he believes himself and becomes the hunter rather than the hunted. Fear has its place. It gets our attention and can get us moving but its value is limited if we don't couple it with courage. Courage comes from knowing and trusting ourselves. It's believing in our God-given talents so that whatever situation we face we can confidently say: "This is my forest and I am not afraid."
Reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. One thing he discusses is improvisational comedy -- where the actors take a suggestion from the audience and make up a play as they go along. While it is spontaneous it's not accidental. The actors train and rehearse so they know each other well and they work from a basic set of rules on how they relate on stage. For example, always accepting what another actor offers you. If I say "I was abducted by aliens." You don't say "You're nuts! That's impossible." You say "So-- threw you back?" The rules give a framework for the relationship. While life has a "make it up as you go along" quality to it, we need to be anchored in something to enjoy the spontaneity. We need certain moral principles that guide our decisionmaking. With them we can act freely without fear. Without them, we can wreck the show. Getting ourselves into a spot where we haven't a clue what to do next to get out of it.
My eldest son owns a snake. The snake lives with us. Its cage is on a shelf in the family room. My daughters set up a small Nativity scene on the shelf right in front of the snake. Great symbolism. The Baby between us and the snake. A good image to take with us through Advent and Christmas and the rest of our lives. That's where we'll always find Him.
Devin Hester is the kick returner for the Chicago Bears. Yesterday, he returned both a punt and a kickoff for touchdowns. Hester's abilities challenge the core belief of NFL coaches-- that if they just work hard enough they can design a scheme to stop anything or anybody the other team throws at them. If they didn't think this way, they wouldn't be NFL coaches. Despite the many times Hester has returned kicks for touchdowns in his short NFL career, many coaches can't resist kicking to him because they think they've figured out how to stop him. ("Hey guys. I've figured out a way to keep gas from exploding when you throw a match in it!") Hasn't worked yet. Someday they may succeed but is it worth the cost to them to find out? I'm glad they keep trying though. It's entertaining.
"What you cannot turn to good you must make as little bad as possible." So says Thomas More in Utopia. His biographers cite this as the likely rationale for him serving King Henry VIII. I guess sometimes (like the death of a loved one) it's all you've got-- "as little bad as possible." But that's a rare circumstance. It's more likely for us to use it as an excuse. An attempt to turn "Oh woe is me" into a virtue by telling ourselves we are nobly suffering in a hopeless situation in order to heroically make it a little less bad. If you focus on the good you can find, chances are you can increase it. Usually, the only tyrant we're subject to is our own bad attitude and we can achieve much more than "as little bad as possible" if we quit focusing on what's wrong and look to the good.
I often have people tell me they are thinking about becoming a lawyer and ask what I think about the idea. Here's an easy test to see if you should be a lawyer. A man opens a bill from his lawyer and sees it is for $100.00. He thinks: "That's not bad. Never got a lawyer's bill that small before." Then he thinks: "Wait a minute. I haven't spoken to my lawyer in months. What's this bill for?" He looks at the description of services rendered. It says: "For crossing the street to talk with you and discovering it wasn't you." If this made you laugh, you should NOT be a lawyer. But, actually, the lawyer does have a point. All our thoughts and actions spend time that cannot be recovered. They cost us something valuable. We need to get the most value in return for the expenditure of time. Probably not in the strict monetary sense (like the lawyer in the story) but certainly in terms of living in a way that advances our goals and fulfills our purpose.
Each of us was created as a masterwork. Unfortunately, the course of our lives tends to cover up the original glory for which we were intended with a lot of not so wonderful stuff. It makes it hard for us to believe we were intended to be a masterpiece. We can't see beyond the surface of ourselves or others. To fully enjoy our lives, we need to find the hidden masterpiece in us and look for it in others. I've just added a new piece to the writings section of www.funfirstliving.com called The Duchess of Something or Other, which deals with this theme. Check it out.
Are you curious? Curiosity is something kids have naturally. It's a fascination with something for its own sake. Do we take this same curiosity into our grownup lives? Are we curious about others for their own sake or do we just see them as a means to some end of our own?